Disillusioned

Chapter Eleven - People Never Change

I keep thinking of her Diana. I sit up in my bed and look at the time. It’s 12:00am. It has been three days since I saw Diana at the café and kissed her perfect lips. I still haven’t heard anything from Caroline so I have no clue what is going on with her. I do worry for her but at the same time I have been messaging and flirting with Diana and arranging to see her again on the weekend. It’s been a cold night and I haven’t really had much sleep, I have had too much on my mind. Riya hasn’t explained why she cried so I just gave up on asking I am sure she will tell me when she’s ready. I haven’t even spoken to Charlie, which isn’t all that bad. I hate him. I don’t want anything else to do with him. I will tolerate him for the sake of my mother but I will never give him my respect ever again.  I decide that I need a drink so head to the kitchen. I get to the kitchen and my mum is awake on her laptop doing something. She is still in her work uniform so I can see that she has been busy today.

“Hey” I say.

“How are you?” Miranda asks.

“I’m all right just can’t really sleep a lot on my mind” I reply.

“Did you want to share?” Miranda asks.

I explain about Diana and Caroline and what happened on my weekend. I haven’t actually seen much of my mother over the weekend both of us were busy so I give her the low down on what happened leaving out any details related to Charlie.

“Sounds eventful” Miranda says. “So who do you like Caroline or Diana?”

I have to think about it for a little. Although Caroline hasn’t even bothered to talk to me, part of me believes that something has happened and that’s the reason why she didn’t show up and why she hasn’t contacted me. Caroline has the whole bad girl image going on and her personality seems to have a wild side to it. Diana on the other hand is sweet caring and gentle. Her eyes are amazing and her aura glows whenever I am near her. Kissing Diana the other night was like bliss. My lips against hers was incredible. I feel guiltily because it feels like I have done it behind Caroline’s back, but at the end of the day she didn’t even bother with me, or so that’s the way it seems. I do want things to progress with Diana because I feel that she is the right choice, but part of me is holding back and waiting to hear from Caroline. It seems all kinds of messed up to me. I am never usually in this position.

“I haven’t properly spent enough time with either of them and decided” I reply.

“I see as long as you are happy,” Miranda says.

Miranda closes her laptop and stands up. She must be heading to bed now. I want to tell her about what I saw Charlie do but Riya told me not to. I feel terrible for her but I am also scared that Charlie and Riya might put this back on me and I might look like a liar.

“Are you happy?” I ask.

Miranda turns around and looks down at the floor. It seems as if she is undecided in if she is truly happy with Charlie. I can see it in her eyes. I continue to stare at her hoping that she will give me an answer soon.

“I think there is a difference between being happy and being comfortable” Miranda finally replies, “Or being pretend happy because you don’t know any better”

“So are you saying you’re not happy with Charlie?” I ask.

“I am very happy with your father and the life that we have had, it’s just things change” Miranda says.

“You mean like people change?” I ask.

“No people don’t change, they can cover up the person that they truly are for a little while but then after a while their true colours will always reveal themselves” Miranda replies, “With that I must head to bed I am exhausted and have another big day tomorrow, goodnight Tyler”

“Goodnight I hope you sleep well” I reply.

I walk back to my bedroom and fall flat on my face on my bed. So mum knows what Charlie is like and has always know but is staying with him for the sake of the children? Money? Has he threatened her? All these different things are running through my head. I now have even more on my mind now. Good luck falling asleep easily now. After tossing and turning for about two hours I finally fall asleep.