Ghosts Of The Past [BoyxBoy] ✓

31. Guilt

I lay under my white covers. Still. Like I'm dead. 

It's super quiet here. My mom's gone away with her boyfriend. She left me a note just like I did. I think she might have done it to spite me. 

Whatever, I don't care. If anything I'm happy to be alone. 

It's been a week since Aron and I got back. A week since I went to see Chase in the hospital. 

A week since I've spoken to Aron. 

He's called me a few times but I don't pick up. I make sure the door is locked so when he comes he can't come in. And it's always quiet in here. I don't leave the bed. 

My mind has been very.. dark these past couple of days. 

I've thought of doing what Chase did more than I ever have. My mind is driving me insane. 

I can't help but feel guilty and responsible for Chase, I can't help but hate myself for going to Alabama and I can't stop being angry at Aron. 

I'm miserable. I want to die. 

My phone buzzes.

Loren: Chase wants to see you. Come to school. Everyone's worried.

I bury my head in the mattress. 

If I don't come it'll upset Chase. I can't let him down again. 

Sky: i'll be there 

I turn off my phone and hop in the shower. 

I run my fingers through my hair and wonder why Chase is back at school so soon. Did his parents force him? 

I throw on a big black hoodie, black sweat pants and black All Stars. 

Today I want to disappear. 

I pull up to school just as the lunch bell goes off. 

I walk into campus and everyone starts whispering and staring at me. 

After all, I haven't been here in two weeks. I pull my hoodie over my head. 

"Yo dude, where the hell have you been?" Shawn pounds me. 

I flinch. Dammit, I'm so weak. 

"Just took a break." I answer

The other guys quickly follow. I look around for Aron but he's nowhere. 

"I wish my parents would let me take a break whenever I needed one. Geez." Mikey says.

No, you don't. I sigh.

I look around the campus anxiously and then I spot Aron all the way at the back of the parking lot stepping out of his car. He doesn't see me. 

"I gotta go." I say quickly and I walk off. 

I go inside the school and look for Loren. I spot her at a table with Chase. 

I go up to them.

Chase looks up surprised. 

"Sky!" He says happily. 

I work hard to smile. 

"Why so surprised? You asked me to come, didn't you?"

Chase frowns. Then he looks at Loren who looks down guiltily. 

"Loren! I told you not to bother him!" Chase says embarrassed. 

"I know but.. you kept going on about how much you miss him and—"