Being Good Enough

Chapter 13

"Chris?" I called out, trepidation evident in my voice. He was walking around in circles practically marching his feet on the ground. I wonder how long he's been here?

As soon as Chris heard me he turned around so quick, I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash. He started to walk towards me with his eyes narrowed and a scowl on his face. Chris stood so close to me I could feel the heat coming off his body. I instantly became intimidated. Chris was beyond mad, he was . . . I can't even think of a word. You know how in cartoons when a someone is mad steam comes out their ears? I'm pretty sure thats going to happen to Chris. I stepped back to try and create distance but Chris automatically grabbed my forearm (very tightly might I add), and made us close in space again

"Where the fuck were you?" He snapped venom dripping off of every word.

Without even giving me a chance to respond he also asked, "And why you smell like a nigga? Who was you with?"

"Just my friend," I said softly. After seeing my parents fight more times than I can remember, I realized that yelling will only make the situation escalate. Chris was terrifying me now, I don't want to shout at him incase he gets more mad.

"Lyin' bitch, I ain't never seen yo ass with friends. So, you stepping out?"

My mouth actually fell open a bit. I'd never been disrespected by someone like that. What the hell is wrong with Chris? Its not that big of a deal, why is he losing his mind? I should be the thats mad at him not the other way around. I didn't even do anything wrong! I looked into his eyes. Instead of seeing that beautiful dark brown, they seemed completley black. No emotions. Is he on drugs or something?

I snatched my arm out of Chris's grasp. "Bye Chris," I mumbled trying to walk past him.

Once again, he grabbed me by my arm. This time though he flung me onto a nearby wall. My teeth clenched as the pain pulsed through my body. He brought his right hand onto my neck wrapping around it tightly. I began to scratch as his hand trying to get him off but it was no use.

"This conversation isn't finished 'till I SAY its finished. I know you got all them messages, why the fuck you ain't reply to any?" He snarled. With each word he gave my neck a squeeze. I wasn't really focusing on what he was saying, I was too busy struggling to get his hands of my body!

"ANSWER ME!" He growled. But I still didn't. My breaths were getting shorter. What if I die? I'm so young, I have so much to do, God please help me!

"I don't know Chris. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Just let go please," I begged. Of course I'm not actually sorry because I didn't do anything wrong but if me apologizing makes Chris get off of me so then be it.

The apology worked. The grip on my neck loosened before he dropped his hand back to his side. I immediately began focusing on coughing and in-taking deep breaths of air. After my huge coughing fit was over, I realized that Chris was still here. He stared at me deeply which was making me extremely uncomfortable. Why can't he just go home?

"Dijah, I'm sorry," He spoke with his head down. Chris looked like a cute, sad, little puppy but that didn't change the fact that he choked me out! I am scared to be around him and there's nothing more I want then to be as far away from Chris as possible.

"Ok goodnight," I mumbled trying to get to the door. For the 3rd time today Chris stopped me, at this point I was becoming furious.

"I'm serious, I'm sorry. I have problems and I jus-" Chris began talking but I cut him off, "Chris get the fuck out of my way! Go the fuck home! Leave me alone!" I shouted. I'd never cursed before this moment but he deserved it.

He looked hurt and backed away from me. I took the opportunity and ran to my door. I quickly got in and locked the door behind me, not taking another look at Chris. My back was against the door as I stood there for minutes waiting for my heart to slow down. As I walked into my apartment I was disappointed to find it was empty. Grandma left a note on the table saying that she was at my Uncle's house. I ran a hand through my hair and let out a deep sigh. The last thing I want to be is alone. What if Chris comes back?

My neck hurt, my arm ached every time I moved and I could feel a headache coming on. You're okay, relax! I thought. I took an advil and a hot shower to calm myself. I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave and turned on a rerun of Empire. When I stood up to get the popcorn, I saw my phone light up with a text message. I rolled my eyes as I read Chris's name. I decided to read all the messages he had sent me earlier.

Where are you -Chris, 4:51 pm
Are you home -Chris, 4:51 pm
Hello. . . .-Chris, 4:54 pm
Im going to your place -Chris, 4:58 pm
Bitch I know you there open ya door -Chris, 5:05
Fucking answer me!! -Chris, 5:07
Khadijah Im gonna fucking kill you reply! -Chris, 5:08 pm

I could feel a weird lump in my throat signaling that I would start crying. Why was Chris being this way? Actually, this wasn't Chris. I don't know who this person was. Chris was sweet, gentle and kind. Not some kind of violent monster. What got into him between the time that I left and when he sent the 4th message? I'm really starting to believe he took a drug or something. What else could cause such a drastic change?

Baby im sorry -Chris, 5:47 pm
Please don't be upset -Chris, 5:48 pm
I didn't mean it I was mad -Chris, 5:51 pm
I didn't mean to hurt Khadijah -Chris, 5:56 pm
Please don't ignore me baby, im so sorry -Chris, 6:02 pm, a few seconds ago

I grabbed a tissue to wipe away the tears that stained my face. Half of me was thinking of when Chris was talking about his childhood, how vunerable and sweet he was. This doesn't seem like something he would do and I think he's genuinly sorry. The other half of me was thinking of Chris's emotionless eyes as he choked me. If he was willing to hurt me because I didn't reply to his texts imagine what he would do if we got into a legit argument? At this point I don't trust Chris, i'm not comfortable around him, and Im not so sure that I want to be in a relationship with him anymore. I clicked my phone off, not answering any of Chris's messages.

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Bad news everyone! My laptop has decided to not work properly. I will try to update this story but it'll all be from mobile which means that chapters may be shorter and updates will be less frequent. I apologize for all the mistakes that are in this chapter.

But anyways, thank you so much for reading! And huge thank you to everyone who has commented, voted and followed me. You guys are awesome! Please comment what you thought of this chapter and what you think/want to happen in the next one.