Being Good Enough

Chapter 26

Khadijahs POV

Chris got up to get a condom. He rolled it on and then came back to me. He grabbed my leg and put it on his waist. I was surprised that he wasn't going to do any foreplay. I'm nervous. Just so nervous. I hope this will feel good because I heard that the first time isn't fun.

"Its gonna hurt at first but it'll feel better," Chris mumbled.

I held in my breath as Chris pushed the tip in, stretching me out. It didn't hurt that bad. He pushed in deeper and thats when I started to get the pain.

"Ow ow, it hurts. Stop!" I said, pushing on Chris's shoulders.

He thankfully pulled out. "I know, just relax."

I want this to be pleasurable for me so I should listen to Chris, considering that he's more experianced than me. I took a deep breath to relax myself. "Okay, go."

"You ready?" Chris asked.

I nodded my head. Chris slid in deeper than before. Even though I was relaxed, it still hurt. Chris gave one hard thrust, breaking my hymen, and I honestly wanted to die. I held onto to Chris's biceps because I needed something to squeeze. It felt like I was being stretched in half. Chris kept going, picking up speed with each thrust. He seemed to be enjoying it. After a few more minutes, Chris let out a loud groan and then pulled out.

Chris got up to do something and I got up to go to the bathroom. When I peed it burned a little. And there was a small amount of blood in the toilet. After flushing and washing my hands, I stood there and stared at myself in the mirror. My bottom lip looked swollen probably from me biting it so hard. I had my hair up in a bun and now there were 10 million flyaways. My skin was also sweating probably from being so scared. Chris lied. It didn't feel better. The entire time, it was painful.

There was a light knock on the door. I quickly slipt on my clothing that I had brought to the bathroom with me. "You aight?" Chris asked. I opened the door and nodded my head yes. We walked to the bed and laid down again. I noticed he changed the sheets.

"You sure you good?" Chris said.

"Ye-yeah," I answered, with my voice cracking. I didn't sound convincing at all but Chris didn't seem to notice. He turned on his side, with his back facing me, and fell asleep. I fell asleep soon after.

I felt someone shaking me so I jolted up.

"You gotta go home, so you're not late," Chris said. He walked out the room without another word. I stood up and put on my shoes. Downstairs, Chris was eating in the kitchen.

"Bye Chris," I called out.

"Bye," Chris muttered. He barely glanced up from his food.
-
"How was tutoring today?" Grandma asked.

"It was good, i'm getting better in math," I lied.

"Thats great, I'm proud of you," she beamed.

"Thanks Grandma. So, i'm gonna go shower."

I stripped off my clothes quickly. They were making me feel dirty. My shower was pretty long. I kept scrubbing my body trying to get the feel of Chris off of me. The water eventually got cold so I stepped out of the shower. I lotioned my body, put on my clothes and then laid in bed.

Out of no where, I started to cry. And it wasn't just a few tears either. I was bawling like a baby.

The primary reason was because I regret my decision. The entire thing was rushed and uncomfortable. I never saw myself in a million years having sex in high school. My plan was to graduate and then save that kind of stuff for college. And this is why. Because in high school, there are stupid boys who take important stuff like your virginity and don't even care.

Something in the back of my mind kept thinking about Micheal and what he said.

"Everybody seems to know why hw's with you expect for you."

I tried my hardest to keep reminding myself that Micheal is just jealous. No matter how stupid Chris is, I can tell that his feelings are genuine. Still, the annoying idea that Chris was just using me kept coming back.
-
Chris's POV

"Hey Khadijah," I said into the phone. I was calling from my moms so that she wouldn't get in trouble with her grandma.

"Hey Chris. Good morning."

"Yeah, um I can't drive you this morning."

She sighed into the phone. "Really? Why not?"

"My moms car broke down so she needs mine to get to work. Shes gonna drop me off real quick then leave so theres no time to get you," I lied. Mamas car was working fine but I needed an excuse not to see Khadijah.

"Um, okay. Well, I'll see you later," Khadijah said. She sounded disappointed but oh well.
-
"Hey Chris," Khadijah tapped me on my shoulder so I could turn around.

I rolled my eyes because she was so annoying. I tried to give ger hints that I didn't wanna talk to her but she didn't seem to get it.

"Hi," I said in an emotionless voice.

Khadijahs smile dropped off her face. She turned her body so that she was facing the lockers. I noticed that her cheeks were pink and she was shivering.

"Who drove you today?" I asked.

"I walked."

"Sorry about that," I replied. And I genuinly was. It was 40° outside and she lived 15 minutes away. If I knew she didn't gave a ride, I would've gave her one.

"Its okay, stuff happens."

I didn't say anything, I just started to walk away. When I looked back, Khadijah opened her mouth to speak but closed it once she noticed I wasn't there. She looked at the ground. It made me feel bad because she looked like a sad puppy.
-
"Oh look, there go ya girl," Trey pointed at Khadijah. I cringed at him calling her my girl. She's so embarrassing. She was coming from the girls bathroom. She sat down all by herself and started reading.

I sucked my teeth. "Man, she ain't even gonna my girl for that long."

Everyone at the table eyes widened.

"You smashed?" Red asked.

"Yeah, yesterday," I smirked.

"How was it?" Trey asked.

"Tight," I replied. Everyone started laughing except for Nicki.

The bell rang and everyone got up to throw out their lunch. Nicki still sat there giving me a dirty look.

"Fuck you look like that for?" I asked.

"So, you just gon' break up with her?" She ignored my question by asking her own.

"No, i'm gonna make her break up with me."

"How?"

"By ignoring her till she gets mad and breaks up with me."

Nicki rolled her eyes. "You're the biggest dick I've ever met. Wasn't she a virgin?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, i'm sure she liked and trusted you a lot to give you her virginity. And you're playing her like a game," Nicki got up and shook her head. "You don't feel bad at all? Because I do. She looks like a nice person."

I put my head in my hands. I feel so bad. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Yesterday, Red asked me why I was with her. Instead of just admitting I liked her, I said that I just wanted to fuck her. Then, he, Keeis, and I made a stupid bet saying that I had to fuck her in a week and then break up with her. I was getting $200 from both of them which I why I agreed to it.

I didn't want to break up with Dijah right after we had sex because I know she'll hate me forever. Thats why i'm trying to get her to break up with me. That way, I get my money and I won't have to break her heart.

I really like Khadjah but honestly, I'd rather have my friends and reputation her.
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I'm feeling generous, this is the 3rd chapter this week! Smh Chris is such an ass. Should he just break up with Khadijah or what for her to do it? Make sure you vote and leave lots of comments. Thank you for reading! -Khadijah