Being Good Enough

Chapter 28

Khadijahs POV

I stared down at my waffles in disgust. Theres too much going on, I don't have time for food. The clock read 7:32. In less than 10 minutes Chris would be here. All night and since I woke up, I've been rehearsing and thinking about what I should say. I'm not sure if Chris is taking his pills anymore. So, I'm worried about what his reaction will be. I'm hoping he won't be too upset and turn violent.

"Khadijah, eat. They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day for a reason," Grandma said.

"I can't Grandma, I don't feel good," I complained, pushing the plate away from me.

"Try to eat a little, you might feel better," she advised.

Im outside -Chris, 7:33 am

"Oh, Marys here. I gotta go, I love you," I said. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and left the apartment.

I walked to Chris's car slowly. Not because I wanted to be annoying but because i'm scared. Scared of what he'll say, of how he'll react, and of how our relationship will turn out.

"Hey. Your mom got her car fixed?" I questioned.

Chris furrowed his eyebrows. "What? Nothings wrong with the car."

"Yesterday you said you couldn't pick me 'cause your mom had to drive your car since it needed work. Remember?"

"Oh yeah, now I remember. She did fix it," Chris chuckled nervously. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand so I knew he was lying. Wow, what a prick. He really made up an excuse just so he wouldn't have to see me.

"So, you lied to me?" I asked in disbelief.

"I didn't lie, I just forgot," Chris corrected.

I rolled my eyes at him. I can't believe him! He really made me walk in 30° weather for no reason. And the fact that he kept lying after I already figured it out was annoying.

"Whatever. So, why didn't you pick me yesterday?"

"Aye, when'd you get your phone back?"

Chris is trying to change the topic and i'm not having it. "Yesterday. So, why didn't you pick me up?"

"My mom needed the car," Chris said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay but you could've told me that. I was standing outside in the cold waiting for you for like 30 minutes."

"I didn't see you."

"Our lockers are right next to eachother. What the fuck do you mean you didn't see me?" I spat angrily.

Chris must really think i'm stupid. That was the worst excuse ever. How did he not see me? Since the locker area is so crowded, we even bumped into eachother. He should've just been honest. Its only making ne angrier at him.

"Chris don't lie. Just say you were avoiding me," I scolded.

Chris sucked his teeth. "Whatever, just let it fucking go. Why do you want us to talk?"

Welp, this is the moment of truth.

"Um, I think we should um b-break up," I barely managed to make a coherent sentence.

I studied Chris's side profile for any type of reaction. Anger? Sadness? Shock? But nope, there was none if that. Chris didn't even blink. So, basically I was losing my mind for no reason. Chris doesn't even seem to care at all!

"Oh, forreal? Why?" Chris finally spoke up in the most nonchalant voice ever.

"I think me and you are like drifting apart. We're. . .i don't even know, just not close anymore," I stated sadly.

When people drift apart its usually over a matter of weeks or months. Me and Chris drifted apart in only 2 days. I wish we never had sex. I should've stopped it. Thats what ruined everything. If only I could've known that us breaking up would be the result of us sleeping together.

Chris was my first everything. First boyfriend, first kiss, the whole nine miles. I want us to work out but I don't think thats possible. He really seems like he doesn't give a shit about me. If my beloved girlfriend tried to break up with me, I would be extremely angry.

"Yeah," Chris said.

I squinted my eyes in annoyance. "Yeah what?"

"Yeah, I agree with you," Chris snarled with an attitude.

What did I do? I must've done something for him to be so angry at me. Its like talking to me angers him. All he gives me is basic replies and then gets mad when I ask questions.
I'm kind of over it at this point.

"Chris, why are you being like this?" I somewhat shouted.

"Like what?" He asked in a boring tone.

"Like that! You're so like emotionless! Can you actually talk to me?"

"The fuck do ya want? For me to cry and beg for you 'cause that ain't gon' happen!"

"I just want us to be like before," I cried.

"Yeah, well. You don't always get what you want."

I just sighed and pressed my head laid my head on the window. This conversation isn't going well. I'm not getting what I want from Chris. I want him to explain his new attitude and behavior to me.

"Y'know I noticed that you started ignoring me after we had sex. Why?" I inquired.

Chris shrugged his shoulders.

"So, you ignore every girl after you have sex with them?"

"It was a bet," Chris bluntly stated.

My mouth fell open into an o-shape. What did he just say?

"What the fuck? Are you serious?" I screeched.

"Yep. I got $400," He said, patting his right pocket.

I was in so much shock, I just sat there. He has to be lying to scare me or something.

I remember when Chris used to stay about 'till 2 in the morning talking to me about nothing just because I couldn't sleep. Or when he used to send me ugly pictures of him just because he wanted me to laugh. Its crazy that thats the same Chris that just admitted to having sex with me for money. I guess I don't know him that well after all.

"I hate you," I blurted out.

"No you don't," He replied, looking at me for the first time since I got in the car.

"Yeah I do, Chris. I really hate you," I stated, holding eye contact with him.

Chris faced forward again, paying attention to the road. Chris stopped at a stop sign. We were close to the school so I took the opportunity to get out of his car.

As I was walking, I deleted his contact off my phone and deleted the pictures I had if him. Tears were threatning to spill out of my eyes but I rubbed my eyes causing the tears to leave. I've spent too much time crying over Chris. No more of that, though.

I am officially done with and over Chris Brown.