Being Good Enough

Chapter 14

Khadijahs POV

I winced a little as I dabbed some foundation onto my bruised neck. Its been 3 days since the incident and the bruise is becoming less noticable but I still need to cover up just in case. The whole ordeal is still fresh on my mind. I've spent pretty much the whole weekend crying which has resulted in my eyes being red-shot. I look like I've done a 12-hour crack binge!

"Khadijah hurry Mary is outside!" Grandma shouted impatiently.

"One minute!" I replied back angrily. I don't want to go to school, I don't want to see Chris, I don't wanted to do anything.

-

"I hate Mondays," I grumbled as Mary began driving to school.

"Girl, doesn't everyone? So what'd you do over the weekend?" Mary asked

"Nothing why?"

"Looks like you been crying."

I wanted to open up and tell someone what happened on Friday night. But then I remembered Chris telling me not to tell anyone about us. No way would I defy him. To be honest Chris terrified me. I don't want to piss him off again.

"Oh I didn't sleep alot last night, thats why my eyes are red," I lied.

Mary seemed to believe me. Just a few seconds later we arrived at school. "I'll talk to you later!" Mary shouted, walking away from me.

I walked towards the 11th grade door with my head down. My palms got a little sweaty when I approached the popular kids. I'm just hoping Chris isn't here today. And If he is here I'll try my hardest to avoid him.

Someone called my name as I walked past the populars. I tried walking a little faster but they kept calling me. Don't be Chris, don't be Chris I chanted in my head. I turned around and was happy to see Micheal and not Chris.

"Hey Micheal," I said smiling. Due to all the drama I sort of forgot about my little date with Micheal.

"Hey um are you okay? You didn't reply to my messages and. . .were you crying?"

"No I wasn't I just didn't sleep a lot last night. Oh and i'm sorry, I wasn't ignoring you or anything. There was a lot of. . ." I couldn't even finish my sentence because instead of focusing on Micheal my eyes began to look at Chris who stood a few feet behind us.

He was surronded by friends but wasn't talking to anyone. He looked even worse than me! I felt an urge to just ran over there and comfort him in a hug. Once we made eye contact I could feel all my ill feelings towards Chris start to disappear.

"A lot of what?" Micheal asked scaring me. I'd forgetten I was in the middle of a conversation with him.

"Oh um a lot of homework. Im sorry for zoning out. Im just. . .out of it today," I tried to explain.

"Its all good, you apologize a lot," Micheal teased.

I giggled a little before my phone caught my attention. There was a text from Chris. Stay in the lot so we can talk. A second later I got another one. Please. I slyly nodded my head at Chris.

The bell rang. "Are you coming?" Micheal asked me. I shook my head no. "No um I need to get something from the car. I don't want you to be late, don't wait for me." Micheal walked off.

I waited at Mary's car for everyone to go inside the building. It took about 10 minutes before everyone left and Chris approached me.

"Can we go to my car?" He asked.

I followed him to his car silently. "I'm sorry," Chris said as soon as I closed the car door.

"What happened?" I wanted to know what was going with Chris on Friday.

"I don't know. . . I was just pissed."

"So you choke people out when you get mad?" I asked astonished. What kind of excuse is being mad?

"Can I tell you something?"

I motioned for Chris to continue talking.

"I'm um bipolar," Chris revealed. "I ran out of pills. Mama forgot to order some and I flipped the fuck out when you didn't answer me. Im sorry."

At first I was shocked at Chris's revelation. He seemed like the last person to be suffering from a mental disorder. Then, I started to feel bad. I had thought of Chris as a monster because of something that he couldn't control. That explains why he switched moods so quickly on Friday.

"How come you didn't tell me?" I asked.

"You're the only person who knows besides Mama and Clinton. I didn't say something before 'cause everyone thinks people who are bi-polar are crazy or something. I just didn't want you to be scared of me."

"To be completly honest Chris, I am a little scared of you. My neck and arm is all bruised. Im not breaking up with you but just know that if you ever lay hands on me again we're done," I said truthfully. No matter how much I like Chris domestic violence is a no-no. I refuse to be with someone Im scared of.

Chris lowered his head so that we would be eye-to-eye. "Never again baby I promise."

I smiled at Chris calling me baby. He's called me that countless times but still each time he said it, I got excited like a kid at Toys-R-Us. Chris was just so damn. . .amazing. There was something about him that was special. Less than an hour ago I was trying to avoid Chris, now here I am, sitting in his car completley infatuated. Thats how into this boy I am.

"Were you crying?" Chris asked.

I didn't even get a chance to respond before Chris pulled me into his chest. "Baby are we good? Please forgive me," he spoke into my ear.

I pulled away gently. I leaned up and pressed a kiss on Chris's lips. There was no tongue or lip-biting but it was still our best kiss. It had lots of emotion behind it.

We seperated slowly. "I forgive you Chris, lets move on." He sent me thst gorgeous smile of his causing my heart to flutter. A loud bell ringing made me realize that homeroom had started and I was still in Chris's car.

"Class started! Oh my god Chris I gotta go now!" I yanked the door open and rushed out. Chris was still sitted.

"Aren't you coming to class?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah I'll just go after you."

"Oh um okay bye." I said

He doesn't want to get out now because he doesn't want to be seen with me. My feelings are kinda hurt now. I know Chris said he wants to be low-key because other girls will bully me but im starting to think he's ashamed or something. After school he only picks me up 3 blocks down from the school, and he never speaks to me infront of others. I mean is saying hi too much to ask for?

I don't want to say im in love with Chris but I for sure have strong feelings about him. I wanna hug and kiss him whenever I want. I know its a corny saying but I wanna shout my love for Chris from the rooftops. I want everyone to know that Chris likes me!

Well Chris already told you he wants to keep it private. You knew what you were getting into another part of my brain thought. I always have these stupid internal arguments.

Me and Chris just got over a huge situation and here I am thinking up another problem. Everything is okay with you and Chris! Stop creating issues! My brain screamed at me. It was right. Chris did nothing wrong, why am I so sad?!