𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝘀𝘀 | { 𝗘𝗿𝗲𝗠𝗶𝗸𝗮 }

15

We're all sitting here. No one saying a word. I hate this tension and I don't want to be the one to break it. I feel terrible now, for saying those things to Mikasa. I only tried to hurt Jean but I also hurt Mikasa at the same time. I hate being so impulsive, I always speak without thinking first.

I also hate the fact how Jean sits next to her, comforting her and being the hero while I'm the bad guy here.

"I'm going to swim." Armin breaks the silence and eyes all of us, "Let's fucking go then." Sasha stands up. Marco, Sasha and Armin are on their feet now and Marco takes a foreign object, his snorkel, and from his bag. Sasha then laughs at him.

"I want to dive okay?" Marco tells us, "Eren, Jean, Mikasa wanna come?" Armin asks us. I glance to Jean and he has his arm hooked around Mikasa.

"Nah I'll just sit here, but Eren should go." Jean presses and I smirk. He really wants me to leave huh.

"I'll pass. I've swam enough." I say while glaring at Jean. I actually wanted to swim but I'd rather sit here so Jean feels more uncomfortable. He rolls his eyes at me and turns to Mikasa. She just shakes her head and politely declines.

"Fine." Armin remarks and then runs to catch up to Sasha and Marco. They are all in the water and are swimming and shit.

Mikasa says something in Jean's ear which makes him wait a bit but then he stands up and leaves. I wonder where he's going.

I take a book from Armins backpack and lay down, the sun is still shining and it would be good to get my mind off.

"You read?" Mikasa blurts out of nowhere with a tone of sarcasm.

"Yea." I simply respond and continue to skip through the first introduction pages of this book. I'm not a nerd without reason.

Once I actually start to read the lines instead of just going through the book to pass the time I realize soon enough that It's about repairing your computer, fuck. Did I really just take a computer handbook out of Armins bag? More importantly why is Armin even carrying this to the beach? When I look away from my book, I see through my sunglasses that Mikasa is glancing towards my direction. I lay back even more relaxed and pretend like this book is pretty interesting so I don't have to engage in a conversation with her.

After a few minutes more awkward silence and more informations about how to fix a computer, Mikasa decides to speak up.

"What did I do to make you hate me?" She asks, her voice barely audible. I lay the book down and turn to her, pulling my eyeglasses up.

"You think I hate you?" I ask back and she nods and pulls her knees to her chest. Why would she ask me that? Clearly she's the one hating me.

"I don't hate you. That is just... ridiculous." I respond, hoping she doesn't ask me that again.

"I know I can be complicated but trust me, Eren there are reasons why I'm like that." She goes on.

"Look I don't really wanna know about it so.." I tell her trying to spare us both the awkward talk.

"I didn't use you and that was never my intention or anything..." she murmurs and strokes her knees.

"Why did you kiss me then?" I ask sharply. She pauses and looks at me.

"Woah since when is only one person at fault in kissing? And you kissed me back. And if I remember correctly, it was you saying that you couldn't stop thinking about anything other than my lips?" She blurts.

Fuck she has me cornered. I do indeed remember those words. I don't know why but at this time well three weeks ago Mikasa had me whipped. She was a girl and it was my first real kiss. Of course I couldn't think about anything else for a few days. I'm still a teenager with flowing hormones if I may add after all.

"Yeah look my testosterone was all over the place." I defend myself hoping she will stop talking about the kiss now. Only Armin and Jean know about it.

"Don't blame the hormones." She laughs and after a while Jean returns with an ice cream cone in his hand, glancing at the two of us.

"What's going on here?" Jean looks between us and crouches next to Mikasa, handing her the ice cream cone.

"We were just talking.." Mikasa mumbles and I return to the boring ass book. As a cold breeze sweeps through my arms I grab my white jacket blouse from my bag and pull it on.

"Why... you can talk to me." Jean hisses and I roll my eyes at him, even though he can't see it through my sunglasses.

"Yes but I wanted to talk to him." Mikasa states licking her ice cream, Jean looks at me wondering how Mikasa still likes me after the scene I caused.

Jean takes out an object, which looks like a voice recorder, he then holds it up and plays it, I instantly recognize Jean's voice.

"I hope you're not jealous or anything since you two had something going on." his voice says.

"Yeah you know what? I could care less about you and Mikasa. I don't care if you two are messing around. I don't give a fuck about Mikasa anymore, you can have her!"

That's my voice? I remember this conversation we had while going to the ice stand. I can't believe he recorded it.

"Too bad.." the audio ends and Mikasa's mouth is dropped open and her ice cream cone drops on the ground. Jean smirks like the devil.

My skin goes pale.

"What the fuck! Why would you record this without my permission, that's just messed up!" I blurt and sit up, going over my head.

"What you said is even more messed up." Jean seriously thinks what he did was okay? He did it to get back at me and so Mikasa would dislike me further.

At this moment I was mad at Mikasa for even going with Jean and Jean was rubbing it in my face. I just tried to act like I didn't give a fuck so he could leave me alone.

"You know I don't mean that Mikasa please, Jean wasn't leaving my alone and I only said that so he could stop rubbing it in my face..." I mutter,

"You didn't hate me, huh? The evidence is there.." Mikasa mumbles and her eyes are a bit glossy but she closes her eyes and they're like before again. Huh?

"I don't hate you.. I mean it." I admit truthfully. Even if everything else says against it I don't actually hate her I guess I'm just mad at her.

"Cmon babe let's go.." Jean hooks his arm around her which makes me boil. Just as I was about to shout at him to let her go Mikasa took his arm and jerked it away, then she slapped him hard across the face making him gasp.

The look on his face is ridiculous and I wish I could've captured it.

"What?!" He gasps and touches his fresh slapped cheek and looks at Mikasa, she scoots closer to me and it looks like she wants to slap me but instead she just takes her bag and leaves.

Instead of sitting here with Jean and fighting I run after her.

"Mikasa please let's talk this out.." I yell and run to keep up with her quick pace. She is already past the ice stand and the beach wind brushes harshly through my face. I squeeze my eyes shut because there's sand particles in the aur and I don't want ant to get in my eye

"Mikasa please!" I yell even harder but no reaction, she runs across the streets without even looking at the cars. Is she reckless too now?

I feel my breath is getting hitched so I slow down a bit.