𝗶𝗿𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝘀𝘀 | { 𝗘𝗿𝗲𝗠𝗶𝗸𝗮 }

16

I still look around for her, it also started to rain, fuck. This situation is so fucked up and I don't know how to talk my way out of this. She thinks I hate her but I'm just mad at her.

She somehow ran so far to this forest here and the rain started to make the ground muddy, countless leafs from the trees are on the ground and I can't help but feel disgusted as I'm wandering here with my flip flops. I really hope she doesn't get lost here.

Actually I might be the one to get lost.. fuck. I really gotta go find her now.

"Mikasa!" I yell again my voice slightly raspy from yelling so hard. I'm walking now so my breathing slows down, I ran the entire way here so I don't have to run anymore. I bet she stopped running too.

After ten minutes of walking through the scary forest and I quicken my pace to find her, she couldn't have just vanished into thin air, she must be here somewhere. I don't care.. I have to find her before it gets darker.

Once I see a wooden like cabin in front of me I hurry to catch up to it, I lean against it and take a moment to collect myself then I crouch inside. Once I look inside, I find her. She's sitting cross legged and doesn't look at me, instead she scribbles something on the wooden ground with a sharp wooden stick. She's scribbling a house like drawing?

"Finally I found you." I say as relief floods through me, I'm scared that she tells me to leave but she doesn't. I take that as an invite and sit down next to her. Her hair is kinda wet and so is her shirt.

"Are.. you okay?" I ask slowly not knowing wether she'll slap me like she slapped Jean.

"No." She surprises me and answers.

"Do you want to talk about it.." I hastily ask not knowing wether this is a good idea or not.

"Eren.. there's nothing for us to talk about." She explains, her gaze still fixed on the ground.

"What?" Is she serious.

"I can see you're mad at me but I don't understand why. So just go." She huffs and continues scribbling. My mouth is slightly parted and I wait for her to tell me that she's kidding. Is she serious? I gather all my thoughts.

"You know what I don't understand? First you kiss me then ignore me and then have the nerve to call me, come to my place and make out with me again and then suddenly you run away and the next thing I see is you sitting on my seat with a guy next to you, and then you don't even have the guts to explain yourself and now you're wondering why I'm mad at you?" I scold her finally, wanting to find out the truth.

After a pause. She doesn't respond instead I continue.

"I can't believe you. I have every right to be mad at you. You're playing a fucking game with me Mikasa and I don't have the nerves or time to let you use me. I'm honestly sick that everyone sees me as the bad one while you're so manipulative and crazy!" I want to stand up but she grabs my arm.

"Stay please, keep talking." She pleads, her eyes glossy.

"What?" I flush.

"Tell me everything." She begs, her hands on my knees now. I pull them away and her face drops.

"I-I already told you. You just keep playing with my feelings and I don't want that. I can't keep up with you, one minute you're down my throat then the next you're on Jean and that pisses me off. And you even told me you didn't like him so that's even more fucked up." I explain and go through my hair with a sigh.

"I don't like him, I like you.." she states blatantly and stares into my eyes. Is she serious?

"I'm about to leave." I tell her, all of a sudden she likes me?

"Okay wait, are you ready to listen to my side of the story?" She asks me.

I don't know if I'm eager to know. What if she just lies to me.

"It was never my intention to play with you or use you I swear on my life. And what I'm about to tell you is a secret so please don't tell anyone about it. No one!" She pleads and her eyes are soft. I nod. Why would I tell anyone about it anyways, it's her life. It's not mine to talk about it. She sucks in a breaths and opens her mouth to speak.

"I always had problems or bad luck with relationships, my first boyfriend used me and left me without explanation, he just simply left and I cried for one week straight thinking something was wrong with me. Then last year I dated this one guy called Brock. And we were only dating two weeks, the worst two weeks of my life. He used me as well and cheated on me. So I left him. But-"

I can sense there's more and she's pale, I stroke her arm to encourage her to continue.

"He- he tried to rape me in his car...Since then I have problems to even trust boys let alone date them again. I... when I talked to you first I guess I wanted to kick my fear and finally speak to boys again and for once in my life I felt safe to speak to a boy again-"

A guy tried to rape her? Oh my god I never expected that since she's so strong. She's so much stronger than I expected and she felt safe with me? I can't help but smile.

"And I kept having regrets to always leave you like that, I kept coming up with excuses to see you and whenever I left you I thought I did it for my own good but I just now realize that I hurt you all this time and the only reason I even called Jean was to see you. I guess I wanted to admit it-"

"Admit what?" I whisper and she looks up again, her dark gray eyes piercing into mine.

"That I have feelings for you." She blurts with hesitation, I let out a breath which I didn't know I was holding. She has feelings for me? We don't even know each other that well, yet she told me that she has no trust in boys but managed to like me? I can't help the butterflies that appear in my stomach.

"Mikasa, I understand you. Thank you for opening up yourself. If what you want is a break, I can totally do that. If it's better for your sake we can stop seeing each other." I explain and try to soothe her.

"I don't want that.. I want to see you.." she says and my heart makes a flip.

"Are you sure? I don't want to force you into anything if you're not ready to. We barely even know each other." I tell her.

"But I thought maybe we.." she begins without finishing.

"We could what?" I ask hastily. Does she want to get into a relationship with me after she had failed ones?

"We could go on a date.." she mumbles and suddenly her gaze is on the ground again. That sounds too good to be true.

"Of course we can go on a date." I tell her with a smug grin. I'm trying hard to hide my flushed cheeks.

"One more thing Eren... what you said to Jean.. that you don't care about me anymore.. is that true?" She inquires, her mood changing, I can sense she's still not trusting me and I can't blame her.

"I only said that so he could leave me alone and I was pretty mad at you in that moment. You know that I care about you or else I wouldn't have ran after you in this damned forest in my damn flip flops." I speak and she eyes my flip flops and laughs. "Thanks." She murmurs and pushes her hair out of her face.

After a minute she shudders and I haven't even realized that it's still raining. I notice her shirt is still soaked so I pull my white jacket blouse off of me and wrap it around her. She looks up at me with her gray eyes and hypnotizes me somehow. I hope she's warm now.

"This.. would be my first real date." She mutters to herself and I turn to glance at her, I get to be her first date.

She's my first date too..