Unsaid

Low

I've never been very fond of myself. I make mistakes and I say stupid things. I'm clumsy and obnoxious and rude. I know I must annoy others because I annoy myself. I see someone in the mirror and I always wonder what others think of this mess of a girl. Because lately, I've been at an all time low.
Low-self esteem.
Low-confidence.
Low-energy.
On top of the lows I've been feeling bad about everything I say, feel, and do.
Bad self image.
Bad word choice.
Bad decision.
My brain is a clouded mess of the lows and the bads and everything else. It weighs me down but still I fight to stand tall and make it seem to others as if everything is just fine. As if a million different emotions and feelings aren't begging to get let loose for once.
Because I've learned that everyone has their lows and bads so why should I be treated any differently if mine are just a little heavy one day? If anything I should be helping others. I used to try and help, carrying the weight of other people's lows and bads along with my own. But I learned that it's all to much. I've sunken lower and lower to the ground where I'm not sure I will ever stand again.
I'm spiraling down to my all time low.
...
I've always struggled with my self confidence and lately it's been even more of a burden with what's going on in my life. I know that things may be tough now but hopefully greater things are headed my way.