how is it that in a time of such happiness, I can still feel so upset?
i have been working so hard towards improving myself.
towards achieving the goals that have always seemed to stay out of arms reach.
just as they come in view, you trip me up.
you push me down.
and this time, not only do you push me down, but you push me away.
away from all of the happy things in my present, and back towards all of the upsetting memories from my past.
I fear a relapse.
I can feel myself growing more distanced, more broken.
just when I get all of the pieces of the puzzle together, you poke in holes and leave me scrambling to fix it.
how can I look in the mirror at 10 am and be happy with what I see,
and then look at 10 pm and wish that I were anyone else?
wish that I could give up instead of continuing to try to find happiness.
because even when I feel that I've finally found it, I'm only one push away from falling apart again.
YOU ARE READING
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Poetrythese are the things i wish i was able to say out loud. but because i can't here are the words that pass through my mind the words no one listens to because they'll never get the chance. . {highest ranking #98 in poetry}
