temptation tugs on the strings of my heart. his name alone sends makes my heart start racing and my mind go blank. my palms begin to sweat and my mouth goes dry as I recall the last time your lips touched mine.
our story was a tragedy from the very beginning. but never had I expected that it would mean that much.
I was hopelessly devoted to the older boy with the dreamy eyes and the smooth talk. for two months, he was all I could think about. every moment I waited for him, wanted him, needed him. my whole world revolved around him.
the night we broke things off, I couldn't stop crying. I had no clue how to be on my own and how to hold my head high without the support of the dreamy eyed boy.
eventually, I recovered. I moved on, I stood my ground, I was alright. that is, until he came clean with me.
he had slept with someone.
he had pushed any feelings for me, any ounce of his being that cared for me, and gave himself away. something he said he'd never do.
there's no denying that I was mad. he was untruthful to me and continued to be nonchalant about what he'd done. it took me months to get over him. and eventually, he finally stayed away from my mind and I was at ease.
but then I saw him again, and the memories came flooding back. his touch against my bare skin, his reassuring comments, his kisses gentle against my neck. chills dang through my body, and I couldn't tell if I was angry or sad or tempted.
again, I got over him. everything was fine, I was with somebody new, and I thought I would be okay.
that was until he told me that he still loved me. that he could not express how sorry he really was. and that if he could have another chance, he'd take me back in a heartbeat.
I refused. I was mad, I was confused, and I didn't know what to do.
I have a boyfriend.
I have a stable relationship.
I am content.
but these days, it's not uncommon for thoughts of you to cross my mind.
I realize now that if for months upon months I cared so much, there's only one explanation.
you were my first love.
and there's nothing I can do about it.
I am fighting the relapse. I am trying not to imagine your fingers laced with mine, and your breath hot against my neck.
I am trying to avoid temptation.
but right now, I'm not sure how long I will last.
YOU ARE READING
Unsaid
Poetrythese are the things i wish i was able to say out loud. but because i can't here are the words that pass through my mind the words no one listens to because they'll never get the chance. . {highest ranking #98 in poetry}
