Tell Me Why || Larry Stylinson ||

Chapter : 21 || Clean

Do you ever get mad at yourself for not being sad about something big that has happened to you in past? Like why bestie? That's our nexus event?

Bestie, I survived.

* bops head to Clean by Queen T *

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When the butterflies left
And flood became walls
I knew
I had to give it up all

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The opening of the door was silent due to the roaring raindrops that fell against the closed windows making Harry unable to hear it, nor he saw two feet in front of him, his eyes focused on the yellow rubber duck before he heard a shocked scream of the blue-eyed man.

When he looked up to see what was the reason for the wail, the air was knocked out from his chest. His body stilled as he took in the scene of Louis, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. But what made his heart quicken was the fact that the said man was standing there with just a long Captain America t-shirt that fell on his upper thighs. Those thighs made him still his movements. He didn't even want to imagine what could be covering his private bits cause he already knew enough from their conversations and it would not help his current situation.

" Harry.., "    Louis dropped the towel in front of his toned thighs, " you scared the shit out of me."

" I can say the same thing, " he prayed that his voice wasn't as shaky as it felt in his chest, " that scream was deafening ", his hands juggled the toys as looking up was not an option.

Green eyes knew better than to follow Louis as he walked by him hurriedly going towards his cupboard, snatching a track pant out. Harry busied himself by putting away Dusty's toys in the plastic container, focusing on them as the other man did his best to cover himself hastily. He could see Louis slipping on his socks from the corner of his eyes. Harry cleared his throat once a minute passed, " may I turn around? "

Louis's soft voice gave him butterflies as he spoke, twice when his words got muffled by the raindrops on the first attempt.

It was now or never.

Both of them knew nothing about what the night held nor they knew about what they wanted to talk about, it just came naturally, like breathing. It came naturally like a warmth provided instantly by mother's lap. A habit carved so deep inside them in just a few days.

The events of past hours replayed again and again in his head, his green eyes twitched with the overload of them, with thoughts that only showed the worse outcomes where he didn't fight for what he deserves, for the man who sat comfortably wrapped in blankets - unaware of the hails inside his brain as the storm outside their windows started to gather it's strength. 

It isn't easy to tame a beast, not when that beast is just another face of yourself, the self you're yet to tame. That was what gave him a motivation to fight back, to fight for what he deserves and the moment when Louis slammed the door shut on his face, his head let out a strangled scream. The pain of losing Louis would shatter his pieces.

How do you not fight for what's keeping you from falling apart?

So he did what he had to do, he reached out and hold him and fought back and won, won another night beside Louis, on his bed surrounded by the pictures of the people he somehow managed to be loved by, people he would kill for.