Childish

25

"You've been really quiet all day. Is something bothering you?"

I stared down at the stuffed bunny I was holding in my arms. I felt betrayed and hurt. It took me a long time to trust Alex and to trust that I was safe. I thought I was safe. I thought everyone was safe. But things were changing and I was finding out that safety wasn't a priority.

"Lyla?"

As he reached out to me, I scooted away from him. I moved to my side of the bed, creating distance between us.

He sighed. "Lyla, why are you mad at me this time?"

I turned and glared at him. "If you don't know then I'm not going to tell you. Just like you didn't tell me."

He stared at me, confusion written all over his face. I didn't want him to think I was mad at him over nothing but I also didn't feel like I should have explained my anger to him.

"Lyla, what are you talking about?"

I narrowed my eyes in his direction. "All of those kids. They're going to end up just like me. That was your plan all along. You wanted this to happen. You planned it all out and found psycho people just like you to go through with it-"

As my words came shooting out, his features changed. He was no longer confused. He didn't seem surprised by my anger and that made me even more upset. Did he not even care about my feelings?

"Lyla, I never meant for that to happen."

"Don't lie to me!" I yelled, tears brimming in my eyes.

He kept quiet as he thought of his next words. I couldn't tell if he was thinking of a lie to tell me or what. Did he think I wasn't going to find out?

"How am I ever supposed to trust you when you've been doing this behind my back?"

"I never did this behind your back. It was my father's idea to implement this throughout the country. Once he saw how Megan reacted to it, he wanted to push it forward. You came along and halted his plans. But once he realized you knew all of this, he rushed things along so it would still happen as planned. I didn't realize it had gone through until... well, until now."

"But you're in charge. You're the person that would push it out."

He shook his head. "My father got it rushed out while I was locked up. I couldn't stop it from happening."

I crossed my arms over my chest, my bunny tightening in the grip I had on it. I wanted to believe him but I was so afraid.

He held his hands out in front of him in desperation. "Please, believe me, Lyla. I would never do something like this."

"What's going to happen to those kids?"

Alex sighed. "It's complicated."

"Make it less complicated."

"The order that was put into place says that all kids ages 14 to 18 will get a shot. Some kids will be regressed into young children or... babies, like you. The rest will only be 12 or 13. Those that are regressed into a 12-year-old will get changed back after two weeks. As for the babies... their doctors and government officials will determine if they qualify to be changed back."

"Determine if they qualify? Based on what exactly?"

"They're deciding by rap sheets. If someone killed someone or committed serious crimes, they'll be reverted to babies and will most likely stay that way. Aside from being a punishment, it was meant to prevent any more crime from happening."

"How could someone want to do that to a bunch of kids?"

Alex shook his head. "I've asked myself that a lot. Monica and I never went through any experiments growing up. I never knew why."

I crossed my legs under me. While I was tired enough that I could have laid down and fallen asleep, I wanted to talk. I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. "Can you stop this?"

Alex sighed. "I wish I could. It's out of my hands now."

I frowned. I didn't want to accept that it was going to happen regardless of what was said or done. I wanted to feel some sort of power and relief that kids weren't going to be punished like I was.

"You should get some sleep, Lyla."

"What, is this conversation making you nervous?"

He met my gaze and I knew that I was right.

"Being an adult means having responsibilities. And you can't ignore them just because they make you uncomfortable."

He exhaled. "I sometimes forget that you're not really a baby."

"I wish you wouldn't." I didn't want to forget that either. No matter how easy it would make things.

He ran a hand over his face. "Things were never supposed to be this messy. My life wasn't supposed to be this complicated."

I hit him with my bunny. "How do you think I feel?"

"Yeah, but you're just a kid. You've always been a kid."

"No thanks to you." I rolled my eyes.

He sighed.

I kicked the blankets up and laid down, staring at the ceiling fan above me.

Alex gave up on talking and got up to turn the lights off.

I rolled onto my side, pulling my bunny into my chest. I shut my eyes as the lights were turned off.

I wanted so badly to tell Alex how I felt. But he didn't grow up the same way I did. He didn't come from a place where you could be who you wanted. His life was restricted to what his father wanted. He grew up into the person his father wanted not into his own self.