Childish

73

I usually dreaded my birthday. It didn't feel as special as Cooper's. I wasn't getting any older or any bigger so what was the point of celebrating it?

I was used to being a baby. That had come and passed a long time ago. I knew that birthdays were now meaningless since I wasn't going to ever change. And I was okay with that.

I mean... it wasn't my choice to stay this way and I would have liked to have grown up and been somebody but I was fine with who I was. Alpine was weird, to say the least, but the intention of keeping us as babies until we were eighteen wasn't something I hated anymore. I liked that, as kids, we got to just play and watch TV all the time. It was an easy life and one I adapted to quite well once I gave in to it.

I often wondered what my life could have been like if I had just given in when my parents brought me to Alpine. I was sure that if I had known the consequences of what would happen when I revolted, I might have given in and just... dealt with the changes. I was a teenager when we first came to Alpine. I would have only had to stick through two years of pretending to be someone I wasn't and then I could leave and never look back. But I was too stubborn for my own good and it got me into a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Mommy didn't hate celebrating my birthday. She always counted down the days leading up to my birthday and would make a big deal about it. I knew she was disappointed the first few years when I wouldn't get excited. Daddy told me to suck it up and let her plan something. At least we'd get cake.

Mommy was up extra early on the morning of my birthday. She pulled back the curtains to show off the early morning sun. It wasn't as early as it could have been but was still way too early for me.

She walked over to my crib and leaned over the railing. She pulled back my blanket so she could see my face. "Good morning, birthday girl."

I whined around my pacifier and turned my head into my pillow. "Too early, mommy."

She lifted me off the mattress and held me against her chest. "It's never too early on your birthday. I was even planning on making pancakes for you for breakfast."

As much as I wanted to fight it, I really did want those pancakes. Mommy was a good cook and I knew the pancakes would be a nice change from my usual school breakfasts.

I pulled my pacifier from my mouth and let it dangle against my chest. "Is Cooper awake yet?"

"Not yet. I thought maybe you'd want some peace and quiet before he started running around." Cooper was a monster. I loved him but he was still a monster.

"Maybe you should have woken him up first."

She tapped my nose with her index finger. "Not today. You're the birthday girl so you get to be up first."

"Who started that rule because I think I should be excluded from it."

She laughed. "Sorry, Ly. I think you can spend some time with me before we wake up daddy and Cooper."

That actually didn't sound too bad. I liked spending time with just mommy since it so rarely happened. Cooper was always bugging in and interrupting us. At least we could have breakfast just the two of us for a change.

"Okay, mommy."

---

Cooper was extra excited about dinner. Mommy told him there would be cake which made him so excited. He loved anything sweet and would usually bounce off the walls when he got any. Telling him that Jax and Nolan were coming over only made him that much more excited.

As much as I wanted to play with the boys, I was tired from being woken from my nap early and I just wanted to sit until I could wake up more. I didn't want to be grouchy on my birthday. No one was going to have fun if I was in a bad mood.

Aunt Monica made it her mission to cheer me up and get me excited for my birthday. As someone who grew up in Alpine her entire life, she knew that a birthday under eighteen didn't mean much would change. She said it seemed kind of pointless to her when we were still babies but she did like having a day that was all hers. At least we had that in common.

I never pegged aunt Monica as the type to multitask when it came to kids. She never seemed overly good with children but she was good with her own kids. And, obviously, she was great with me and Cooper. She was able to help Jax while still keeping an eye on me as I ate my dinner. I usually didn't need any help other than cutting up my food but I still struggled with things like holding my silverware the right way. Though, unlike the boys, I knew how to eat like a normal human being so I wouldn't make a mess or eat things I shouldn't have.

In order to light my birthday candles and let me blow them out without any mishap, each kid had to sit with a parent to keep them from reaching toward the fire on the candles or the icing along the sides of the cake. The last thing I wanted was a Cooper-sized fist taken out of my cake.

Mommy kissed my cheek as she reached for the cake. "Happy birthday, baby." She carried it off to the kitchen to cut it so she didn't have a knife around us kids.

Daddy slid over to mommy's chair and put his arm on the back of my chair. "What'd you wish for?"

I nudged his side with my elbow. "If I tell you, it won't come true."

"I won't tell anyone."

I shook my head. "Not gonna happen." No way was I going to jeopardize my wish by telling anyone. It didn't matter who it was.

Mommy walked back in with two plates in her hands. She set one down in front of me and one in front of Nolan. "Use your fork."

My one rule on celebrating my birthday was that it wasn't too childish. I did like certain baby things but I preferred my birthday to not be centered around being a baby if I could help it. So everything was just pink-themed. Cute. But no characters or designs. My cake was a baby-pink cake with white icing and purple flowers made from icing. And marble in the center. Just the way I liked it.

I smiled up at her. "Thanks, mommy."

Cooper and Jax were the next to get cake. Cooper was the first to ignore mommy's rule and started eating with his fingers the moment his plate was placed in front of him.

Mommy sighed and took a seat at the table. "What a mess."

Monica shook her head as Jax licked icing off his fingers. "If it isn't dirt all over them, it's food. I can never keep these boys clean."

Mommy smiled. "I know what you mean. I'm always chasing Coop around the house with a wet wipe, trying to get something off of his face."

"Boys are so gross." My face scrunched up in disgust as I watched Jax play with his food.

"Says the girl with food on her face."

I narrowed my eyes at daddy as he struggled to not laugh. No way was I even close to being as gross as my brother or cousins.

Monica patted my leg. "Don't listen to him. You're a wonderful girl, no matter what you might have on your face." She reached around me and wiped my mouth with a napkin.

I frowned and shook her off of me. I hated when someone else wiped my face off or forced me to blow my nose. It was so annoying.

"Oh, don't pick on her. It's her birthday." Mommy said. She gave me a wink before taking a bite of her cake. Picking on each other was probably the best way to spend my birthday. I couldn't have imagined it any better.

Well... maybe one thing would have made it better. But I knew that was a long shot if it were even possible. After all, wishes were just hopeful thinking.