𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐘𝗼𝐮

𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺-𝘛𝘸𝘰

                   𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐡𝐚𝗺, 𝐍𝗼𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝗼𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚

I sat there as I debating going back in forth with myself, I breathed in and out as I looked down at my shaking hands and smacked my lips as I felt my eyes began tearing up.

I huffed and wiped my face as tears rolled down my face.

I was completely out of it and I didn't even know what to do. It seemed like the more I thought about the options I'd had, the more my feelings and thoughts would taut me for them.

I wasn't a bad person nor was I selfish but knowing the idea of even having to think about making the decision that was going to result me as something that I wasn't—wasn't something that I was becoming fond with.

I didn't want anyone looking at me like I was this bad person or even this selfish person knowing that I wasn't.

Me being pregnant was always something that I wanted but it was also something that I had a hard time with.

There was nobody nor no excuse for making me not want any child that I've ever thought about having. I mean, I loved children but how everything was going right now between Glizmo and my health—I didn't think that it was the right time to have any. Along with the thoughts that came with even having one of my own, I was scared.

At a young age, I was always told that I wouldn't be able to conceive or even fully be able to develop a little human being but I did and that was something that always confused me.

I didn't know any reasons behind the phrase of that because I was always perfectly healthy but I guess things weren't always gonna work out as they were determined to be.

Not that I was complaining because I was more than afraid to have a baby. Even though I've grown attachment from others and even my own that didn't make it—I wasn't ready and I could tell.

A knock came to the door making me sniff and quickly wipe my face as I looked up seeing my doctor walk in smiling.

"Hi, my girly" Renee, My childhood doctor greeted making me smile. I looked at her seeing all the beautifulness I'd ever seen since my childhood years. I was somewhat shocked to even see her and how much it looked like she'd never aged. She was like the most beautiful woman I've ever seen—inside and out.

I was happy to say that Renee was something closer to me other than my doctor. Due to me not ever having a mother figure in my life, I always considered her as a mother just by the little things she'd always done for me. Whether it was having conversations making sure I was fine after every appointment or encounter to calling and even texting making time out to conversate with me—I appreciated it all because those were little things I never gotten especially from someone older than me.

"Hey" I said waving swiftly, she frowned.

"What's the matter love?" Renee asked, I shook my head. "Aren't you excited for today's appointment?"