Male Reader X

Reader x Harley Quinn (DC)

"Hiya pudding!"

You barely have time to get through the door to your apartment before you're bowled over by a excitable and strange young woman. With smeared clown makeup and an interesting taste in fashion, there's no mistaking her as anything but the Joker's former partner in crime, Harley Quinn. You try to stop yourself from blushing as her prominent chest squishes up against your own.

"Shit Harley, you half scared me to death!" You manage to push yourself back up into a sitting position as she worms herself into your lap. She smells every bit of that thick, caked on layer of white makeup. "Have you been keeping your head down?"

"I'm a good girl!" Harley pouts, "They said I couldn't come see ya' if I wasn't!"

"I did give you a key to this place." Harley would be happy to spend an hour in the doorway cuddling with you, but you aren't. You stand up and pull the former super criminal with you. "What's the occasion?"

Harley shakes her head, "Why would there need to be one? I just wanted to come see my favourite fella' in the whole wide world!"

You were one of the people assigned to Harley after she was finally apprehended, but perhaps it's more accurate to say that she turned herself in after reaching her breaking point with the Joker. He's behind bars, and after a lot of very, very hard work and a few greased palms she's now only on probation. Which means that she's free to come and annoy you whenever she pleases.

Harley is hugging your arm, squishing it between her breasts in the process. She gets very touchy feely with you for some reason. "Bats has been on my case for the whole week again, doesn't that guy have anythin' better to do?" You sit down on your couch and invite her to sit with you. Instead of taking the empty space to your right, she plants herself himself on your lap again and wraps her arms around your neck. You sigh.

"He's just... concerned. I've already vouched for you dozens of times Harley. And to be honest, I think people worse than you have gotten off with a slap on the wrist."

She pouts again, "I've even been helpin' them out with their stupid superhero crap, and this is the thanks I get?" Harley, sensing that you're struggling with where to put your now captive hands, grabs them and plants them of her doughy thighs. She winks at you, "No need to be shy with me puddin', we're besties, aren't we?"

'Besties' has long since passed you at this point. She practically lives with you sometimes, and friends don't get this close with each other. Harley is definitely liberal with the way she dresses and acts, but she doesn't just let any random person touch her like this. "You know Batman is busting my ass because we're this close to each other? He thinks it'll cloud my judgement, as if he doesn't have his own little grudges too."

"Sorry," she smiles, "But I'm gonna' be a little naughty."

Before you can object or inquire further, she coils her arms around your head and pulls you into a sloppy kiss. Your face is smeared with bright red lipstick when she finally decides to let you breath again.

"Harley. You know how I feel about this..."

"I ain't ever felt this about nobody, not even the Joker. This is the real deal," she insists.

You can't say it to her face. But if you never showed up to your apartment again it'd be... lonely. You enjoy her colourful little interjections into your boring routine. And maybe she feels the same way. She lives a life so detached from what's 'normal' that coming here and spending time with you is a way to gain some perspective, to keep her grounded when the world is going crazy.

"If anyone finds out I'm going to be in serious trouble."

Harley's eyes betray her fear at those words.

"So you better keep it quiet."

Her face lights up like the fourth of July. She nods, twin tails flailing in every direction and hitting you in the face. She doesn't hesitate before diving in again. Her lips are soft and welcoming, but she attacks you like a hungry lion eating its prey. Your hands roam freely up and down her legs, before moving onto her stomach and pulling her closer.

She pulls away and giggles at you, "You look like a tomato!"

"I've got a beautiful woman all over me, you'd be worried if I didn't."

Harley wastes no time in unzipping her corset and tossing it to the far side of the room, revealing her bare breasts in all their glory. They are perfect in every sense of the word. You can't even say anything as you admire her bare torso, the toned muscle makes her look incredibly sexy.

"Hehe, is that a gun in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

---

You groan as the sunlight breaks through your curtains and into the bedroom. While snatching a place that had a window in the bedroom was a nice thing, you found yourself regretting it at times like these. Your arms reach out under the sheets. You nearly leap out of bed as they brush up against and unfamiliar body in bed with you.

How did you forget?

You turn over and peel open your eyes. Harley's makeup has smeared off all over your other pillow, leaving an impression of her face against the fabric. You should be annoyed at the work you have to do to clean it off, but you get the feeling that it might be a wasted effort if Harley decides to make this a regular thing. She's sleeping peacefully with a gentle smile on her face. The natural curves and angles of her now-clean face are beautiful in their own way. She could have been a supermodel if she wanted.

Harley went a little wild in bed last night. The gauntlet only ended when you both finally passed out from exhaustion a few hours later. You stretch out and try to get yourself ready for the fallout. How are you going to do this now? You feel her moving in the bed next to you as she stirs from her own slumber, "Puddin?"

"Morning Harley."

She blinks the sleep from her eyes and pushes herself up, letting her chest hang low against the sheets. You try to keep yourself from getting aroused again – Harley has this natural sexiness in everything that she does. You have work later, you don't have time for another marathon session with her.

Harley's eyes shimmer. She shuffles over and plants herself on your chest. "Puddin!"

There are worse ways to wake up.