Chapter 25

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Nervous.

I hate that word it makes you feel weak and pathetic, I wouldn't say I'm nervous about this date but I don't do dates.

If I'm being honest this is going to be my first date since freshman year.

Now of course, I've hooked up but nothing goes beyond kissing, I don't go out with the same person twice,

That's when they start to ask questions about you.

The only thing that was shaking me up was the fact that I couldn't for the love of God get Sebastian out of my dam mind and it sucked, when we kissed it was so different, something I have never felt in my entire existence.

I truly understand when people say that they feel butterflies, the way I felt when I kissed him was this overwhelming sense of belonging and comfort that I've never felt before, it was impeccable, the way he licked his lips after and how he was slightly out of breath made the kiss ten times more amazing.

I'm so screwed.

I can't be thinking this way, not about Sebastian or anyone, I don't even know why I'm going on this date.

But sometimes the best way to get something out your mind is to do something you never would, and I guess for me that is going on a date with someone I don't even like. Figures.

Thoughts travelled my mind as I was getting ready, I had on a pair of wide legged black pants and a loose sage green silk tank top that had fabric gather at the top, it was casual but the silk top made the outfit a little more formal.

My makeup was kept very simple with mascara, concealer and I did my brows.

I threw on a pair of casual black high heels with a chunky heel so I could walk comfortably In them, my hair was down semi straight, I styled the two pieces of hair that framed to take on the look of curtain bangs as the rest of my hair fell around my shoulders, to finish everything off I sprayed on some Chanel No.5 and walked downstairs to grab my purse and meet Tyler at the restaurant.

When I stepped outside I notice the familiar black Jeep in my driveway, he was here,

fuck my life.

Sebastian was on my porch standing with his hands in his pockets packing back and forth with a firm scowl on his face.

I was met with two green eyes, looking me dead in the eyes he muttered two words, taking a step closer to me reaching out for me to pull me back.

"Don't go."

my heart did about five backflips at those two words, whatever we had going on had to stop, I can't be with Seb, I can't be with anyone.

But this part of me wanted to forget that I have to leave, it wanted me to live my senior year just like everyone else, it wanted me to stop having to think about everything I do.

My life changed the second I left the gang, it made me think of how everything I have going on now will have to end by the time I leave,

I can never see these people again, these wonderful people who have made my life feel complete again.

"You and I both know that I can't do that."

I wasn't about to cry but I almost felt something real for once.

I had to leave or else I was going to be late so I left him standing on the porch with pain etched onto his face.

I sat at n my car outside of the restaurant trying to get the look on Sebs face when I told him I couldn't stay, my heart continued to drop every time I recalled the moment.

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