endlessly; lorenzo berkshire

𝘾𝙍𝙔

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

Fuck's sake, what have I done? 

I watch as she disappears into the air and I'm just left outside.

Why did I cheat?

 Why did I fucking ruin everything?

I've lost her now. All I want to do is chase after her, tell her I love her but I can't even explain why I did it. Something just took over me and it happened.

I'm a piece of shit. She was always too good for me and now I've just proven it more.

I drag myself back into the manor, feeling a know grow in my throat.

I fucking hate this house. It's so fucking depressing.

"What was all the shouting for?" Blaise whispered, scaring me.

"Fuck, sorry for waking you," I muttered, walking to the kitchen and grabbing my tea.

"Are you alright Enzo?" He questioned, walking beside me.

"Oise left and she's not coming back," I croaked.

"What? Why?" 

"I-I fucked up everything" My voice was almost breaking.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"I cheated on her-" I muttered.

"You did what?!" Blaise raised his voice. "With who?"

"Lucille- at the burrow. I don't fucking know why I did it. We were normal the whole night then when we went back to her room, w-we were both drunk and it just happened".

"Are you serious?!" Blaise exclaimed. "You just gave so much shit to Draco and now you've gone and done the same and she's left. Eloise is one of the only people right now who isn't trying to fix me. S-. She sits with me and tells me new things about Onny and it's one of the only good things I have right now. Why the fuck would you sleep with Lucille?"

"I-I don't know Blaise. I love Oise, I really do. I have to talk to her-"

"No," He interrupted. "You give her some space. You won't be able to have a real conversation until she's had time to process this secret that's just ben unveiled".

I sighed, "You're right".

"I just can't believe you and Draco right now. You cheated on Eloise and he left Lucille the night they lose their baby. I would kill to have 5 more minutes with Onny and you are all taking your girlfriends for granted-" His voice started to break.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think of it like that-"

"No. You didn't think, that's the problem. What you and Eloise had was something more special than most people will ever experience in their lives. I mean, fucking hell. You've been best friends for years, Lorenzo," Blaise scoffed.

I couldn't find the words to speak. Blaise was right. I just let go of 6 years of friendship and my first real relationship for one stupid night with Lucille.

"How am I going to fix this, Blaise?"

"I just think this is  one of those things you just can't fix. You fucked up. There's no going back from that," Blaise sighed. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight Lorenzo".

I couldn't sleep, not right now. 

My body had been taken over by the overwhelming feeling of guilt.

I just wanted to see Oise.

Talk to her.

What would I even say?