Begging

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I've been seeing quotations about 'begging' for the bare minimum and how one should not beg for it. And then it talks about your value as person, Ithink the quotation is great, upon reading it I was empowered to hold myself up and put a little pride on my fragile heart. For a moment I thought I was strong enough, I thought I've gotten the whole idea of the loop. But then, sometimes I would contradict the quotation, especially when the plan to pride up and not beg backfires.

When he wouldn't... Geez, I needed a release not an ally.

I feel this way because I kept seeing things behind the halo. The things I saw, heard and experienced were...awful. I've spent many times wishing, begging for things to get better. But it just gets worse, day by day.

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