𝙱𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝙸 𝙴𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎 || ✔

19 (S)*

__________

Slow, slow hands,

Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry.

No, no chance,

That I'm leaving here without you on me.

__________

Liam and I are in a relationship now. 

Yes, romantically.

It's been different. He gives me a flower on every date, calls me every morning and every night and gets on really well with my sister. And Oliver, whom he met like 15 minutes ago.

It's been two weeks since our first official date. Not Masa, but a cafe down the street. It's funny how relaxed he becomes outside a professional setting; it's almost like he's not a millionaire.

But he is.

And the best thing about it, he respects my decision to not face that side of him. That Tiffany bracelet he got me on our third date went right back to where it came from. It's been different, yes. But it's been the best.

"Era!" Oliver yells out, waving his hands in front of me.

"Sorry, zoned out, Lee," I say quietly, making Liam chuckle.

"Thinking about me, babe?" he asks, raising his brows suggestively. I blush, lowering my eyes.

"Please, ugh," Lee interrupts, getting up. "I do not want to see you making sex eyes at each other," he continues walking away towards the door. "See you tomorrow, Era!" he bids goodbye, closing shut the door to my apartment.

Sex eyes?

Right.

Right...

Liam and I haven't had sex yet.

I have been procrastinating in that aspect, making excuses every time things get hot. I don't know what's wrong, exactly, but it has something to do with Kayden. He was my last time. And I did it just to please him. I don't even remember the details of it.

I don't even remember what I did when I was with him. It is unclear, but one word stays ingrained in my mind.

Master.

That one word thrusts me back into his world and I lose myself. What if having sex with Liam does the same? What if I imagine myself with Kayden? What will happen if Liam realizes that I am broken? That someone broke me?

"Si," Liam's voice shakes me out of it.

"Yep," I reply, fiddling with my fingers, my thoughts uncertain.

"What's wrong?" he asks me, getting up from the sofa and kneeling in front of my sitting form, holding both my hands in his.

"I-I'm sorry, Liam," I stutter out, squeezing his hands in my grip.

"What for, baby?" he asks gently, my heart skipping a beat.

"For-uhm," I clear my throat, "for delaying having sex with you."

"So that wasn't just in my mind?" he says, chuckling. My eyes well with tears, a drop falling onto our conjoined hands.

"No, I am sorry," I repeat, biting my lips.

"Hey-hey," he coaxes, tipping up my face and wiping my tears with his thumbs. "It's okay, baby, I'll be here and waiting for as long as you want me to. I don't want you for just sex! Sure, it's an added bonus, but I want you for you. Not your body. I lo-like you for your smile, the way you always call me again when I miss your call, how you wait for me in front of my building to surprise me, how you try to make me laugh when I am sad, how you listen to me when I rant...don't you get it?"

I nod, "Yes."

"Good. We can wait for as long as you want to wait. Well, for as long as you can resist this sexy bod," he sasses, gesturing to himself.

*****

His hand pushes me back on the couch of his apartment, his lips not once detaching from mine as I feel my heart thunder under his palm. I wrap my legs around his waist and my skirt bunches around my thighs, exposing my underwear. He disconnects our lips, making me catch my breath but goes on to suck aimlessly at my neck's skin, switching places and kissing the nape until he kisses a spot right on my collarbone, making me gasp and lift my torso off the couch until his hand grounds me.

"Found it," he chuckles against my skin sucking and swirling his tongue at my sweet spot. My hands wrap around his back, weaving through his arms. I hum lowly as I feel his hands wandering down the curve of my waist, skimming the skin underneath my clothed breasts. 

"I want to take it off," he says, tugging at my floral sundress.

My heart jumps into my throat, my hands grasping his arms.

"I d-don't..."

"Not sex, Si. Not unless you tell me that you want to," Liam consoles me, caressing my cheek. I nod, "You can take it off," I say, raising my hips in response. "No sex," I iterate, as soon as he grabs my dress and pulls it up my stomach. He nods.

Leaving a trail of goosebumps behind, Liam finally pulls my dress off and throws it on the floor. My hands freeze by my sides, my subconscious refusing my instinct to cover myself.

"Relax, baby," he says, his tank-clad chest snug against mine. I nod, exhaling slowly, "I am okay," I say lowly.

This is Liam.

Liam Merrell who likes me for me.

Liam's lips on my navel startle me and I gasp, a newfound heat emanating in my body. He trails wet kisses up my torso, his hands finding their way to my bra clasp and his fingers holding there. He looks up at me, his eyes wanton, "No sex," he murmurs. I nod, "Yes."

He frees my breasts and flings the bra away, his mouth right on my left nipple, making me moan lowly, "L-Liam," I say, my hands entangling in his hair. His fingers trail down to my clothed clit, rubbing lazily as my body jerks and I moan with every movement. He continues his ministrations, my core getting hotter and hotter, my brain getting enveloped in a fog as pleasure overtakes me.

"Such a good slut. So desperate for her master, so ready to be fucked."

The same voice pulls me out of my daze, tears flowing readily down my cheeks. My body goes rigid and my lungs deflate, making my breath hitch and evaporate into suffocation. I find myself in Kayden's room, his hand tightening around my throat, holding me down on the bed. His dominance makes me anxious, his words make me restless.

A slave.

A fucktoy.

I am...

"Si!" Liam's voice brings me back. My body is enveloped in his warm embrace, his hand stroking my back. A sob sputters out my lips as I realize that I ruined our moment. I realize that Kayden still has a place in my mind.

I am not free.