Uriah: A Divergent Fanfic [COMPLETED]

What the Dauntless Cake my Brother Stares at my Butt?

"I want a Baymax, is that too much to ask?" Marlene asks as we watch Big Hero 6. I'm still confused, I should've watched the first five movies before this... but no! Shauna claimed that this was this first one, but why would it be called Big Hero 6? What the Dauntless cake does the six stand for? Tris?

"No, I want an Olaf, so we're even," Tris replies and tosses some popcorn into her mouth.

"Well," Four says and leans back into the couch, "Uriah's the closest thing to an Olaf you're going to get."

Offensive.

But actually, I've always wanted to be a snowman. A talking snowman. LIKE FROSTY! Or Spiderman, I've always wanted to be Spiderman. Like I could jump around the whole city of Chicago shooting spider webs at all the pansycakes who told me that Santa wasn't real. I might've been in first grade, but I still haven't gotten my revenge on the little pansycakes. They deserve a web to the face.

"Thanks, Four. My whole life I've dreamt of being the talking snowman that every kid wants. Sure, it was Frosty back then, but now I can dream of being besties with the Snow Queen Elsa. Thank you. Thank you," I say and sarcastically take a bow.

Four rolls his eyes, "Uriah, you're so..."

"Brilliant," I say and cockily wink, "Hot. Dauntless. Better than Zeke. I know, trust me, Number Boy, I know."

"There's no way you're better than me," Zeke says and wraps his around Shauna. Ugh. Those two can be so cheesy sometimes (just ignore the fact that I'm doing the same thing with Marlene).

I scoff, "Bitch please. I am so much better than you. I'm hotter, funnier, braver, have the better girlfriend - no offense Shauna."

Marlene 'aws' and cuddles into my shoulder. Awww she loves me, just like Caesar Flickerman loves Everlark. Oh yeah, I went there. *sets off fire bombs*

"Wow, Uriah, wanna bet? I bet I can kick your sorry little cake loving ass in minutes," Zeke says and crosses his arms. I raise my eyebrows. Challenge accepted, Ezekiel.

"Two things. One, I can easily beat you in a fight, smarts, cake-eating contest, whatever. Two, you have a cake loving ass too," I reply as Lynn groans.

"This is so not going to end well," Lynn adds. Just like her relationship with the little devil who has the ability to turn an innocent kitchen utensil into a killing machine.

"Yeah? My ass may be cake loving, but at least my butt isn't fat like your's," Zeke says and smriks. What the dauntless cake my brother stares at my butt? That's not weird at all....

"Hey! My butt isn't fat!" I protest, "It's just a bubble butt. And it's better to have a fat butt than your butt."

He raises his eyebrows, "Oh yeah? And what exactly does my butt look like, huh?"

"Hm," I say, "I don't know, because I don't stare at people's butts!"

Will scoffs, "Really? You stare at Marlene's ass 24/7."

He DID NOT just go there. Imma go get my spork!!!

Marlene cheeks heat up and I shake my head disapprovingly. "Oh, Will. Poor, naive, Erudite, Will. Must I remind of Christina? And how your eyes are always on her chest and -"

"SHUT UP URIAH!" Will screams. Aww, poor Will. Christina's face also turns red. Dang, now my girl AND Will's girl looking like freaking tomatoes... or a fire truck!

"You guy are such... pervs..." Four says. The three guys shoot him a look. Because Tobias NEVER EVER gets all horny with Tris. Nope. Not at all. His eyes always remain on her face not on her skinny little boobs and butt.