Uriah: A Divergent Fanfic [COMPLETED]

I'm Initiating Operation: Get Jerk McButter Knife Back

Lynn's been a mess lately.

She actually loved that jerk, Peter.

"C'mon, Lynn, stop being so down, let's do something fun!" Christina says and nudges Lynn, who is currently staring off into space.

"I'm fine," she replies. Zeke and I groan in unison.

"Whatever," Will says and leaves. We all follow him and leave Lynn alone.

"She's so down..." Shauna says and we nod in agreement. Then it hits me. LIGHTBULB! Uriah just got a great idea, everyone.

"I'm initiating Operation: Get Jerk McButter Knife Back," I state. Everyone gives me a look.

"Let me walk you through it. We get Peter, more commonly known as Butter Knife Boy, and Lynn, more commonly known as Lynn, back together. Then we can get our old Lynn back instead of Lynn McStares Off Into Space All The Time," I explain.

"That's actually not a bad idea," Marlene says.

"The world is ending," Tris says. "Why would you say that?" Four asks.

"Uriah had a good idea," she says. I gasp and say, "If the world ended by my good ideas, we'd all be dead."

"Whatever, let's talk to Butter Knife Boy, he did come over. Maybe he still wants Lynn," Shauna suggests. We agree and ride a unicorn over to the peppermint palace... I wish...

But we drive over to Peter's house. Will hesitates before knocking. Jerk McButter Knife opens the door and groans, "What do you want?"

"We wanna give you the nobel prize... what do you think?" Zeke says sarcastically.

"Seriously?" he says.

"We wanna talk to you about Lynn," Tris says. Peter's eyes go wide and he asks, "What about Lynn?"

"Why did you cheat on her?" Four asks.

"I didn't, there was this girl, and she kissed me, and she was freakishly strong," he says. Four grabs him by the collar, "You expect us to believe that crap?"

Peter just smirks and says, "It isn't crap, number boy, it's the truth."

"Do you and did you ever love Lynn?" Will asks. Peter shrugs and says, "Yeah I guess."

"You guess? Now, question, why did you come to Lynn's house the other day?" I ask and put on my tough guy face.

"To apologize," he responds. Four releases him and says, "Then go apologize to her, she's crying over you, and remember this is Lynn we're talking about. She never cries."

"True dat," Marlene says.

"Fine, now you idiots go do whatever you do. Oh, and Uriah and Marlene I saw you Wipeout the other day. How did you not get eliminated after Round 1?" he says.

I smirk and say, "I guess we're just so good-lookin' they had to put us through."

He rolls his eyes and leaves.

"Now what do you wanna do?" Zeke asks.

"Eat cake," Four says. Tris gives him a looks and says, "Tob- Four, baby, there's more out there than just cake."

"What did she say at the begining? Tob something?" Shauna asks and puts her hand on her hip sassily.

"Uh, nothing," she lies and I roll my eyes. "Gurl, ya lying. What does 'Tob' mean? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Hu-" I say and she cuts me off.

"I GET IT!" she screams. I look around and back away slowly.

"Uriah, what are you doing?" Christina asks.

"I remember from middle school camp 5 years ago that if you see a snake, look around for others, and back away slowly," I say.

"Are you calling my girl a snake?" Four asks and walks up to me.

"No, yes, maybe, I like pie." I stutter.

"Mmm, fair enough," Four says and backs off.

"Anyway, about the 'Tob' thing," Christina says and Will nods in agreement.

"She just got tongue twisted," Four says and we all shake our heads.

"Number boy, number boy, number boy, we are your friends. So you may tell us that your real name is Tob," Marlene says.

"My name isn't Tob!" Four defends.

"Then what is it, Tob?" I ask.

"Tobias," he mutters.

"You don't look like a Show-lius..." Zeke says.

"It's Tobias you idiot!" he screams. This time we all do the snake-back-away-thingy-ma-jingy.

"You guys suck," Tobias says.

Awwwwwwww thanks, number boy.