Uriah: A Divergent Fanfic [COMPLETED]

Its... Dun Dun Dun... The Bacon Man

"Here we are! Time to eat some pig!" Zeke screams as we pull up to the beach.

All us guys cheer while the girls roll their eyes. Okay, seriously, we love food more than them, so what's? Food before females.

"And maybe we could have a little private time," Tris says and nudges Four, wait no, Tobias while blushing. Number boy blushes too. Ugh, I am not gonna break them apart like at the camp out. I HAD TO PUSH THEM OFF EACH OTHER!

"No baby making, Fourtris," Will says.

Four glares at him and Will flashes a middle finger as we get out of the car.

"Babe, you look - guys get over here," Zeke says, first talking to Shauna, now talking to us. He looks like he's about to kill someone.

We all walk over to him as he points at an old Hawaiian man. Oh. My. God.

It's... Dun dun dun... The bacon man.

"That little pansycake who wouldn't give us our bacon," I say.

"Let's make this interesting, shall we?" asks Will and we all laugh evilly. Oh yeah, revenge time baby. That pansycake is gonna get it.

"What are you guys staring at?" Shauna asks as she tries to see. She won't get it. No one gets it.

"The pansycake of the century," I say and the other guys snicker and smirk.

"Um... He's selling hot dogs," Shauna says as if that makes it any better. Oh, sweetie, it doesn't.

"Exactly," says Four. Lynn runs over and she sees us shooting daggers at Bacon Man. "What's up with you guys?" She asks and we continue to stare at the hot dog selling dweeb.

"Something about the pansycake of the century..." Shauna tells her and as they walk away I hear Lynn say something about picking up a guy. HELL NAW!

The other guys must've heard it too, because we exchanged the 'Oh damn that guy better not hurt our Lynn or else I'll frickin kill him'.

"Third wheel time," says Will. We all nod and run after Lynn, who's talking to some 'Hot' guy who looks just like Peter. Oooh dang, she still wuvs her wittle Peter. I don't, the butter knifing maniac is bound to kill someone some day, he already made Edward go half blind, Geez, Lynn has weird tastes in guys.

"What about the bacon selling man dude?" Zeke asks.

"We'll get back to the guy later, now, we must keep our Lynn single so she and Peter can get back together and get married and WooHoo, as they would say in The Sims, and create fugly babies with giant ass noses!" Four says and we all stare at him like he's a ghost. What if he is a ghost...?

"Okay, Tris has rub off on me, let's go," he says and we shrug it off.

"I'm just gonna shrug it off, shrug it off, I-I-" I start singing like the maniac I am but Four, as usual, cuts off my beautiful voice.

"I swear if you sing Taylor Swift or Nick Jonas again I'll kill you," He says.

"And I'll kill you back," I say and walk away like a boss.

***

"Um, guys, what are you doing here?" Lynn says as we walk up to her.

"We need your opinion on something, oh, who's this? I'm Four, one of Lynn's bets friends. Who the hell are you? You look like Butter Knife boy, if you hurt her you little son of a -" Four starts but Lynn cuts him off.

"FOUR! This is David, David, these are my idiotic friends, Four, Uriah, Zeke, and Will."

"Four, like the number?" David asks.

"Yes, David, what kind of name is that, huh?" He says with Louis Tomlinson sass.

Why did I just say that I don't know anything about One Direction other than the fact that they're Australian, wait no that 4 Seconds of Summer, 5, I meant 5, One Direction is British, right? Ugh who cares.

"Okay, pansycake, let's get some things straight. First, Four wants her and her ex to WooHoo-" I start but Lynn interrupts me.

"WooHoo? Like in The Sims? And Peter, aka Butter Knife Boy? Hell to the no, Four."

"Whoa, you thought that I was gonna f-" David starts but a little girl runs up to him.

"Daddy! That mean big kid hit me!" The girl screams as she comes up to David and hugs him. David hugs her and Lynn looks very confused.

David mouthed, 'One night stand'. Lynn rolled her eyes and scoffed then walks away. Me and Will exchange a look then we spit viciously in his face.

"Man whore," I mutter. And we follow the guys and Lynn.

"Time for revenge on bacon man," Four says and we all nod like a crazy person. Well, we are cray.

"Uriah! Wanna take a walk along the beach?" Marlene says and pecks my cheek.

"Sorry, Mar, we're planning revenge on the pansycake who was a total jerk when we tried to order bacon the other day," I say and grab a pineapple skewer that was on the table.

"Um, that's more important than us having a little alone time?" She asks.

We all nod and I give her a quick kiss then we begin to plan revenge.

***

"Okay, so the bucket of bacon grease will drop when he tries to cook his hot dogs," Will explains. We nod and then Will says, "We'll hang it when he's on his break, then down comes the grease!"

We all clap and cheer then the girls walk our way. Crap, oh crap.

"Four, we should go take a walk," Tris says.

"Whyyyyyy?" Four complains like a kid.

"Because I never spend any time with you and all you guys care about is food and revenge.

"Food before females," I say proudly and Marlene rolls her eyes.

"Fine, Lynn, hang it up for us please since you're the only single one," Four says and walks over to Tris.

"Ugh............. Rub it in," she says and grabs the bucket and splashes a little bit onto us.

She may think we hate it, but I love the musk.

***

All in all, today was a good day.

We dumped the bacon grease on the bacon man, he wasn't happy but we were laughing our asses off. I got some alone time with Marlene (no not that you dirty minded people).

But Four and Tris did, we saw the condom fall out of Four's pocket. Geez, I hope it didn't break, don't need a baby Fourtris around here.

But tonight was our last day in Hawaii, so I'm sad. I never gotta battle a great white shark, never gotta surf, never gotta dare Zeke to hump a roast pig... Sigh...

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Hey!

Okay, I have some ideas and I want you to comment the one you want in the next chapter!

- they have a crazy flight back to Chicago

- Thanksgiving dinner gone wrong

- they get drunk at a basketball game

Also, this story is currently rated PG, should I change it to PG-13 or is PG good?

Thanks for reading

-Hollie