Uriah: A Divergent Fanfic [COMPLETED]

I'm Just Coming For Chocolate

"This is soooo stupid," Four says as we walk down a long, grassy field. Tris and Christina convinced us to go on an easter egg hunt for Easter.

I'm just coming for the chocolate.

"It's not stupid," Tris says and lightly punches Four's shoulder, "It's fun."

"Yeah," he mutters under his breath, "If you're four."

"Dude. You are Four." Lynn says and rolls her eyes. Ooooooooooh nice one Lynn!

Four flashes a middle finger quickly in Lynn's direction. Sass.

"Just so this is clear," I say, "Someone did bring chocolate, right?"

Christina says, "No," just as Zeke replies, "Duuuuh."

I smirk. "Yeah, that's my brother!" Zeke pulls a Hershey's bar out of the pocket of his hoodie. Will reaches for the chocolate, but Zeke slaps his hand away.

"I said I brought chocolate. Not for you, but for me. Got that, smart boy?"

REJECTED. BOOM. RE. JEC. TED.

"Smart boy? Really? You're just jealous," Will says. And this would be the perfect time for Erudite boy to flip his hair.

Zeke purses his lips, "Not really."

"Okay... here it is!" Christina says excitedly. Okay, girl take a chill pill. What, did you have some Amity bread this morning?

"Oh, joy, my dreams have come true," I say sarcastically. Tris shots a glare in my direction. Awww she's jealous of my amazing non-pansycake witt. I have witt like no one has witt. My comebacks are on fire, so much that not even Alicia Keys could pull it off. Get it... cause her song... Girl On Fire... haha. I'm hilarious, you gotta admit.

Lynn sighs, "This kinda does suck. I mean, really? Egg hunting? You wanna go egg hunting? Why don't you go shove your hands up a chicken's vagina. Now that's how you go egg hunting."

Whoa, Lynn. I'm not putting my hand near any chicken's no-no zone. Like no. Never. Unless the egg is made out of dauntless cake, in that case, I may reconsider.

"She's not wrong," says Shauna blankly, "How bout this? We make a bet. A nice, cruel, bet."

A smirk forms on my lips. Let the Games begin, pansycakes. *cracks knuckles* And may the force be with you. And Yoda. Yoda will always be with you.

"YES," Zeke and I reply in unison. I squint at him suspiciously. What does he have planned in the walnut sized brain of his? It can't be anything as evil as what I have planned.................. this is the time where an evil witch comes in and starts cackling like a goat on steriods.

Four smiles mischeviously, "Okay. I like bets. Especially ones that make Uriah, Will, and Zeke suffer."

I place a hand over my heart dramatically. Oh, Number Boy... you couldn't have meant that... you love me more than ever. You love me like a love song baby. You love me like Zeke loves Mexican food. You love me like Christina loves shopping. I could go on for hours. I'm on a roll with these analogies! Okay - here's another one. You love me like a fangirl loves Tumblr. Ha! I'm a genius. Why hasn't Erudite recruited me yet? Of course, I would reject, due to the constant blue, fake glasses, and selfish demeanor, but still. I bet they would be begging for me to come join them, but I'd tell them to talk to the booty.

"Game. On." Will responds. Christina facepalms. Oh, c'mon, Chris. You couldn't expect us to come out here all high on unicorns and love each other. That's insane! Completely insane!

"Okay," I say and rub my hands together. Let the fun begin. "Whoever collects the least amount of eggs must... come to school for the whole week with nothing but an oversized Spiderman diaper. And, if you're a girl, a bikini top too."

Four grins at my response. I nod steathily. He's going down... I'm yelling timber. Yeah, yeah, before you say it, I know it's old, but I still love the stupid Key dollar sign sha and rabid dog song. It's great for comedic, effect, which I'm very good at. I mean, c'mon, I'm Uriah Pedrad.

"Deal," says Lynn fearlessly. After talking for about ten more minutes - we have our plan:

Least - must go to school in noting but a Spiderman diaper for a week
8th - must walk around a public place while making out with a Barbie or Ken doll. They also must be wearing a unicorn horn
7th - must go around trick-or-treating in a bumblebee costume at one o'clock in the morning
6th - chug three bottles of hot sauce... every hour
5th - must sit in the middle of Victoria's secret and hump a teddy bear
4th - must buy fifty condoms and then start giving them to little children
3rd - must kiss Peter
2nd - Nothing
1st - month's worth of Dauntless cake

It is so on. I better get first place. And if I don't will probably jump into a pit of tartar sauce and never come back, because damnnn all these things are so humiliating. I don't want to be seen doing any of those, but, in my opinion, last place isn's that bad. It's better than kissing Peter.... ulghhh.

So now, here we are, lined up, looking out into the field of Easter eggs. An innocent child's activity is now a war zone. Be prepared - the worst has yet to come.

"Okay... three..." Marlene begins counting down. Every one else joins in.

"Two.... one!" And that's when it all went crazy. I sprinted forward and lunged for a purple egg sitting on a rock. I snatched it up effortlessly and shoved it in the pockets of my grey hoodie. I spin around and see a yellow egg on the floor, so I grab that as well. I look around and see Tris currently rocking it, cradling ten eggs in her arm. Game on blondie.

I dive forward, grabbing four eggs - all different colors - and shove them in my pockets. I spin on my heel and grab a plastic, green egg off the ground. Zeke was going for it too, so out heads bumped. I curse as he clutches his head. Haha, loser. My head's so strong it hurt little Zekey Wekey.

I run and grab a few other eggs. We continue to sprint, run, gallop and leap our way through the field (Four being the one leaping) until there were no eggs left. Everyone let out a deep sigh as we met in the middle of the field. Time to see who will suffer the dangerous consequences.

"Okay... I got ten... what about you guys?" says Christina.

"Four," says Four. Haha, loser. And ironic... 4... FOUR... four... the number four and Tobias four... you get it? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I'm funny.

"Fifteen," I say.

"Twenty three," says Tris. DAMN IT. ERRRRRRRRRRGH.

So after some more bickering and whatever, the results came out something like this:

1. Tris *cough cough* bitch *cough cough* she doesn't even like Dauntless cake *cough cough*
2. Lynn
3. Zeke
4. Marlene
5. MEEEE (I'm scared I have to have sex with a teddy bear in a lingerie shop. Help me. Please. Or just shoot me.)
6. Will
7. Shauna
8. Christina (Have fun kissing Ken)
9. FOUR. HA!

Yep. This is gonna be interesting.

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hai guys! Happy Easter!

Next chapter will be all the crazy bets the gang has to do... I'm excited to write that... hehe.

QOTD: What book/series are you reading?
Answer: I just started the first book in the Matched trilogy

Oh! And I'm also going to start doing QOTDs cuz I wanna get to know you guys better!

Keep and love Dauntless cake!

- Hollie