The Tomorrow Of Us - Taekook

facing the door

song: Revelation - Troye Silvan

Yugyeom has stopped lending him socks a few days ago as a mean to get Jungkook to go home and talk with his father. Or at least that is the only explanation Jungkook can come up with in regard to the untypical behavior of his best friend. And so, he finds himself standing in front of his family home with the letter from his last session with Dr. Kim in his hand. The front door and entrance still look the same as one year ago, if you take away the flower his mother used to take care of. His father got rid of them a few months back, leaving the front of the house to look a bit colder and emptier.

Jungkook sighs.

To be honest, he has really dreaded this. Last night he went to Taehyung's place, wanting to talk with him about the idea of visiting home. The boy has looked at him with an earnest expression, telling him that he should only go if he's ready and that no one can force him to face anything if he isn't there yet.

This made Jungkook relax a bit, leaning into his touch while a warmth spread all in his body. What did he do to find this angel, he thought to himself while burying his face in the crotch of Taehyung's neck, inhaling his scent.

"You know" Taehyung had mumbled into his skin while hugging him back "if you decide to forgive, you shouldn't do it in an attempt to change the past. But because you want to change your future."

With these words echoing in his head, he goes to open the door, stepping inside this house for the first time in weeks.

"Hello?" the voice of his father almost immediately calls out from the kitchen. Unsure of what to say, Jungkook is quick to walk over there, coming to a halt in the door frame.

"Hi" he mutters, examining his father sitting on the table hunched over some leftovers.

"Jungkook"

The way his father says his name leaves Jungkook guessing what he might be feeling, seeing his son back in his house. His father's eyes seem glassy, but they are too far away for Jungkook to really tell.

It stays quiet before this father clears his throat. "What brings you here?"

Jungkook looks down at the folded paper in his hand, seeing how he unwillingly clenches around it.

"Eh-" he starts off, unsure of what to do. His initial plan was to leave the letter on the table, assuming that his father wouldn't even be home. So, this right here, fucks everything up.

"I-I" he hates that he stutters right now "I came to tell you something."

His father looks at him for a moment before he leans back, pushing the plate in front of him away. "Go on then"

Jungkook can feel his eyes on him when he moves through the room. He isn't quite comfortable to take a seat at the dinner table and so finds himself leaning against the kitchen counter instead.

"I" he starts, eyes on the food instead of meeting his father's. "I'm s-so sorry for l-letting Jung-hyun d-die." The stuttering is still there but he tries to keep going, no idea where his speech his heading. "I should've known, should've noticed somehow... and I-I really hate myself for that... like so fucking much." His voice cracks and his eyes burn, making him swallow hard to keep the tears back.

The silence that follows feels loaded with things neither of them are able to say out loud. When he looks up at his father, he sees him shaking his head slowly, biting the inside of his cheek.

"You know, I always hear his voice in yours..." he stops, biting his lips before clearing his throat once again. "I too, blame myself Jungkook" he looks at him and Jungkook nearly shudders at the hurt that fills his eyes. "I guess blaming you made it more bearable to cope with..."