can I kiss you?

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The embrace is long and warm and nice.

Like a blanket he can wrap himself into after a long, hard day. Like all the calmness he has been lacking even though it's a characteristic Jungkook always praises him for having. Like he's finally feeling like himself again.

"I'm sorry I'm making such a mess out of something that is good the way it is." Taehyung bites his lips, hating the way Jungkook's eyes shimmer in the night.

Maybe his words form earlier really got to the boy? Maybe Taehyung was so afraid not to get hurt himself, that he hurt Jungkook in the process. Shit.

But Jungkook shakes his head, looking at Taehyung with warm eyes. "If it's stressing you out, it's not that good I'd say..."

"But that's my fault, not yours!" Taehyung insists. This is not what he wanted, making Jungkook feel like he's to blame for any of this.

"Why do you think that way?" Jungkook inquiries, head tilted to the side.

"I just can't seem to ... just- let you like me I guess..." he mouths the last words, looking at his hands again.

How is this real? How can he say this out loud and not feel like a total idiot? Oh right, he already feels like a total idiot anyway.

"I am already doing it" Jungkook shrugs with a smile "I am liking you right now."

"Yeah, but why?" Taehyung can't look at Jungkook when he asks the question that has been bothering him ever since their first kiss. Instead, he stands there, hands clasped in front of his body, lips pressed together.

"What do you mean, why?" Jungkook examines him, making Taehyung feel restless under his intense stare. "Do I need a reason?"

"Yes!" His voice comes out more intense than intended, filling the air around them with its deep sound.

But Jungkook only shrugs "I can't give that to you, I'm sorry."

His answer hurts, even though Taehyung has expected just that. What's there to like? Not much if you'd ask him. Or Jimin. Or anyone.

The night air suddenly feels colder, making Taehyung wish that for once, he'd brought a fucking jacket. But of course, he's not even capable of doing that, of looking after himself.

"Taehyung, it's not mine nor anyone else's job to like you." He can feel Jungkook's hands finding their way back to his shoulders, shaking him a little to make him lift his eyes off his hands. "It's yours."

Jungkook's dark eyes stare at him, the words leaving his mouth in a calm tone. Taehyung feels the urge to look away, but he can't. Not when the other looks at him like he's the only thing that matters right now.

"Guess I'm not going a great job then..." Taehyung chuckles awkwardly. "So, what if I don't like me?"

"Well," Jungkook leans forward to take Taehyung's hands in his, caressing them with his fingers. "Then you know that you got some stuff to figure out."

Taehyung nods while starring at their hands, examining how they look when they are together, intertwined. "I'm just not sure I was made to connect with someone." He shrugs "I feel like I was designed to be alone, if that makes any sense..."

"What makes you say that?"

"Just every time I tell someone something, they just looked at me with questions in their eyes. Every time I play for them, they don't get me, my story, what I'm trying to say."

Taehyung looks up at the sky, the stars only barely visible. They're being overshined by the bright city lights, causing them to vanish, even though there still present. They're still there.

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