Title: "THREE MONTHS PHIL!!"
*Slams File on Table*
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Ship: X
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Request: X
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Pronouns: They/Them
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Summary: Techno was stuck in prison for...a bit longer than expected, and thanks to Phil and Y/n he escapes, but he's still kinda pissy over the fact Phil didn't hear him say three days rather than three months.
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Other:
•< Y/n, in this is canonically a Messenger of Death rather than an Angel of Death.
– Yo bitch we back
•< "Ahem, 28 STAB WOUNDS!!!"
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"I've got information, I've got information!!" Techno yelled as he backed up to the cell wall, there wasn't much room to run around in here, ready to switch his item into food to heal himself up as he neared low health. To his surprise, Quackity stopped for a moment, Sam did nothing, he watched but didn't make a move to help or stop either of them and under that mask of his, he couldn't tell if Sam even cared or was conflicted at all about this.
"You've got information?....What information, do I need from one of the three biggest headaches I've got on this server..." Quackity demanded from him threateningly like it would be a personal offense if Techno didn't have something useful to him, Techno shrugged and started eating a potato to heal up.
"Oh hey that worked. Well, I've been some places, I've had stories from my travels, I figured you could use some information for your...empire? Yeah, you always have an empire." Techno rattled off, watching the hearts slowly tick back up as he ate.
He knew who Quackity was talking about when he meant three biggest headaches of the server:
#1) Y/n was another angel, a Messanger, of Death and aka Mumza. Since there were only two of them on this planet who were going to be living forever until recalled back to Mumza whenever she so pleased.
#2) Phil, he and Y/n decided to be friends...very scary and powerful friends, and while their child was Dream, they promised to help out Phil to get both of them out of Pandora's Vault whenever possible by any means necessary if they could.
And when they meant any means necessary, it meant being a general nuisance to Quackity through antics and debauchery of not only but not limited to: murder, scarring, exploding property and items, arson, general crime, and mass murder of around 26 people that time they helped Techno out with the Festival as a favour Phil called in. At this point, because now Quackity was running the place, he was starting to get pissed off at Y/n, who managed to slip past his fingers every time he tried catching them.
"I-I've a question for you Technoblade, and I want you to answer this damn well and good-" Quackity said through gritted teeth as he clenched his fist.
"Okay, I can answer questions. I was an English Major in college...before I dropped out to deal with you all day but that's besides the point..." Techno replied casually as he tried to mask his nervousness with some of his trademark dry humour.
"Did you really think I would forget about you killing me? The day you killed me and ran off, did you think I would forget about it?"
"Well...that was the hope." He shrugged but could sense this wouldn't be peaceful by any means. Dream stood frozen in a corner, he didn't know what to do to help if he could even help at all. This was personal beef between them, he was in no place to help either.
"Y'know...I've got a pickaxe Technoblade, and I'M GOING TO PUT IT THROUGH YOUR TEETH!" Quackity declared furiously, switching to his pickaxe. He slammed it into the wall next to Techno, who scrambled away and started running around the cell again to avoid dying for the first time.
"HOLD ON NONONO! HEY HEY HEY WAIT NO NO NO HOLD ON!" Techno yelled and suddenly, disappeared right before he would've died.
"....What...what happened." Quackity demanded, turning to a very nervous Dream who still stood in the corner without blame.
"L-look I didn't do a-anything! I didn't do anything!!" He defended, Quackity grabbed him by the neck of his uniform and lifted him up off the ground.
"Where the fuck did he go?!" He demanded, Sam still didn't do anything and again, stood by motionlessly.
Techno blinked and he was in Phil's house, in front of a Y/n who was lounging on the seat in front of him, wings spread out in full stretch mode.
"What...what?" He asked confusedly, Phil stepped into the room, showing up at the doorframe nearby.
"Hello....Did it work?" He asked. Y/n nodded mutely and turned to him with a slight grin he always found to be unsettling, like they knew a little too much and boy did he know that if an opponent knew too much they could be dangerous to anyone and everything, even him if Y/n wanted to be.
"Welcome home Blade, how was prison? Tell me about it." Y/n chuckled with the same grin as always.
"Oh. OH. OH! PHIL, IT WORKED!" Techno yelled like it suddenly clicked for him, suddenly shooting up, patting himself down and wondering if anything else had been hurt, he was fine so far.
"Yeah...It worked, how was prison? Is my son still a bastard as always?" Y/n asked jokingly, though he could sense they genuinely wanted to know Dream's status and cared as a parent. They'd once said that they'd gone through at least ten generations and each time they watched over more than one family at a time, theirs and on occasion, Phil's—who they'd been friends with long enough to recount the once flat plains of minecraft.
"Here, eat this, and this, and take this." They shoved several golden apples and a regeneration potion into his arms, and even gave him an enchanted golden apple which was already rare enough. He took them and started healing himself as the gift was too nice to be declined without seeming ungrateful or rude.
"Three months Phil!!! THREE MONTHS!! PHIL!!!" Techno shook him by the shoulders as Y/n let out a giggle at their tomfoolery, standing off to the side instead.
"YOU SAID THREE MONTHS!!!" Phil argued back while being shaken, he sounded like of you yelled into a running fan at top speed.
"I said three days!!! Two, sure, but three days!!! Not months!" Techno exclaimed as he stopped shaking Phil like he was an impromptu made maraca, shoving his will back into his father's face.
"You said three months!!- oh...oh wait...hold on, shit...you did say three days....oops." Phil started to laugh on behalf of his own mistake, Techno seemed unscathed other than his aghast offended look so at least the mistake wasn't too impactful, Y/n giggled uncontrollably at his sudden realization of the situation, their wings even seemed like they were laughing for them judging by the way they were flapping up and down.
"YEAH! I SAID THREE DAYS PHILLL!!!" Techno cried indignantly at his forgetful and mildly illiterate father/???, then again, this was also his old man who couldn't see the difference between glass and open air.
"I'M SORRY!!" He shouted back, Y/n grinned to themself and tried not to laugh.
"THREE MONTHS PHIL!!"
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