Total Drama Malibu

2

Me, a tv personality? What would I even do? Commercials? Dramatic soap operas? Telenovelas? I just don't see it... But what am I going to do for the summer? California is cancelled, my mother will be working, so what's there for me? Rotting away until I'm forced to go to a university that I don't even want to go to? Ugh! I don't even like thinking about it!

I look at the pink business card I threw on my desk. What was his name again? Wayne? Warner? Am I actually thinking about doing this? I feel almost ridiculous. What if I get my hopes up and this is nothing but a scam? I got my hopes up for California, and you see what happened with that.

"What do you think, Tiffany? should I call him?"

She only looks at me and wags her tail. I mean, I guess it wouldn't hurt. And I'm sure I'd make more money doing some commercial than I do babysitting the Johnson kids.

"You're right, Tiffany. I'll give him a call."

...

I'm going to throw up. What was I thinking? I can't be on tv. I left my house half an hour ago to meet Warner here at the food court in the mall. I was feeling good and I wanted to take a risk, but starting a totally different career right before I graduate and start my life?! I should go. I'll just tell him that something came up-

"Darling!"

Sh*t!

"I'm so glad you made it. Sit, sit!" He tells me.

He's dressed in a leopard print aesthetic today. Topped with a pair of black sunglasses to match his black fur slides, his toe nails painted crimson.

"Ok, so let's get started, I guess," I sigh.

This is so awkward. I've never met with a talent manager before. I didn't even tell my mom about this. I cancelled babysitting for this! I still can't believe that I am being 'discovered.' How random!

"As you know, I am the fabulous Warner Bradley. I am a talent manager and future reality star."

"And what does that mean?" I ask. "How many people have you discovered?"

"So far, just you," he answers.

"You're kidding right? I thought you were legit."

I knew this was to good to be true.

"I am!- or I will be, I just needed something... Or someone, to put me on top, and that someone is you!"

"How? You don't even know me," I point out.

"You've got the look! I mean, the hair, the body, the attitude, the style, you've got it all! You fit the perfect description of Canada's sweetheart, an it girl, and you're the person to get me to where I need to be. Getting your name out there will get my name out there, and then, I'll be on my way to getting my own reality show! It's the perfect plan."

"So you're doing this to become a... reality star?" I ask.

I look at him like he's crazy. So he wants me to be his puppet? I knew there was a catch.

"Yes, you gotta start somewhere!" he says happily.

"But I don't want to be tv star. I want to be a shoe designer," I explain.

"And you will. Just get your name out there, while giving me the credit of course, then you'll have all you need. And once you do, you can drop out of the lime light at any time."

"If it's that easy, then you do it," I suggest starting to feel annoyed.

"Mmmm, no. I was born for reality tv. I'm not interested in scripts, being in movies, or playing different rolls that may or may not get me a raspberry. And no one is going to just give me my own reality show unless I make a name for myself out there. We've got the reality real estate moguls, the reality makeup gurus, you've got the youtubers, the vloggers, but the world hasn't seen anything like me!"

"So what, are we talking commercials, YouTube videos? I don't think I'm ready to be in a movie."

"Total. Drama. Island."

Total Drama Island? Sounds stupid.

"What's that?" I ask anyway.

"You'll love it! It's a reality tv competition that takes place at a cute little resort. There's going to be teams and challenges, and which ever team loses the challenge of the week has to vote someone off.

"Um, reality tv is your thing. Why don't you do it?" I as with a frown.

"Oh no! Can you imagine, me, running around doing challenges, looking a mess on national television? Gross! I know reality tv is my thing, but competing and doing physical challenges is not. Do this, and it'll open doors to actual gigs, like commercials, interviews, guest star appearances- I'm thinking Grey's Anatomy. The norm."

"And what makes you think I want to do it?" I ask him as I cross my arms.

"This is right up your ally. You're athletic, you attended summer camp growing up, you were even a camp councilor last year!"

Wait-

"How do you know that?" I ask.

Yeah, I'm starting to feel a bit creeped out.

"Oh. I kinda stalked your Facebook after we got off the phone..."

What a freak!

"Well sorry to disappoint you, but I don't like reality tv. I think it's stupid, and I'm not doing it."

"Did I mention winner gets $100,000?"

Holy crab cakes, $100,000?! I know what I said, but think about it. With that money, all of my dreams would be coming true. I want nothing more than to start my own shoe company! And that money is just what I need.

"Fine," I give in. "But I have some conditions."

"Lay 'em on me!"

"If I'm going to do this, I am going to be unapologetically me. I am not going to put on some persona for the camera. I am not 'Canada's Sweetheart,' or sh*t like that. I am Malibu freaking Channel, and I'm going there to win. I need this money and you need the exposure. People will see me as authentic, and I think that's what they like the most."

"Can't you exaggerate for the camera a little bit," he whines.

"Ugh, fine! But just a tiny bit," I give in.

"Then we have a deal," he agrees with a smile, and we shake hands.

"Ok, so tell me everything I need to know."

"Well first, we need to make you an audition tape..."

...

So that's what happened. I made my audition tape, and soon after, I got an email congratulating me on my new gig as a contestant on 'Total Drama Island!' You know, at first I wasn't very open to the idea of being on a reality tv show, but after doing my research, I'm pretty darn excited. This is the first season, and all of the contestants will be around my age. I'm actually excited to meet everyone! I've only been in Canada for a few years, so I don't have many people I'm close to yet. Maybe this show is a blessing in disguise! And get this, the host is Chris Mcclean! He's such a hottie. Who says I need California to have fun?

This is going to be perfect!

...