Secrets ❉ n.m

Chapter 27

DEDICATED TO @stephers71399 because she always votes! ❤❤❤ ilysm!
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-Alex POV-

"Go on." I said nervously. Nate was about to spill his past to me and i wasn't sure if I'm ready to hear this. By the looks of it, he didnt have a good one.

"If I tell you...promise you won't just leave me? I was stupid...young." He said looking at his hands.

How could i possibly leave him? "Nate its okay I'm here." I said softly.

He took a deep breath. "Okay here goes nothing. About two years ago I was in a really bad space...my mom had just disappeared and my dad was never around to be there for me. It started out as attention, so my dad would just listen."

"What started out as attention?" I asked.

"I got involved in one of the gangs in Omaha, Sammy tried to talk me out of it - even Jack - but I didnt care. All I wanted was attention from my dad, but it went too far. As the new member of the gang, I had to go around stealing and selling drugs.."

He took another breath. "They made me steal from innocent people and smoke every kind of drug available. We went around sleeping with random girls - even forcing them if they refused."

My heart stopped. That didnt seem like the real Nate, the smoking, stealing, drugs and sleeping around. That couldn't have been him. "And then what happen?" I asked trying not to cry.

"And then...then we were in a major raid from the cops. We had so many drugs in our complex we made a run for it, and one of the guys handed me a gun...he handed me a gun and i..." Nate's voice cracked and he started sobbing, his face in his hands.

I reached out and wiped his tears out of his face and linked out hands. "Go on Nate."

"I cant...I was a monster." He sobbed harder. I sat next to him with my arms around his shoulder. He was bigger than me but somehow we still fit perfectly.

"Hey, look at me..." I said lifting his face to mine. "I'm not gonna think you're a monster okay? Youll feel better when you vent, trust me. I'm here." I said softly.

He sniffed and continued. "So he handed me a gun and told me to get out, use the gun if anyone surrounded me. But he was one of the gang leaders who looked ouy for me- like a dad. I was a few steps and almost home free of the raid but the guy who gave me the gun was caught by the cops."

I didn't want to think about what happened next because Nate had tears rolling down his cheek. "I felt like i owed him, I was 15 at the time and stupid. I pointed the trigger at the policeman holding him, he knew I waa gonna do it so he shook his furiously. I pulled the trigger anyways buy a cop bumped me and the bullet hit..."

He sobbed again. "Nate hey...we can talk about it later." I said holding his hand. He was emotional now it scared me.

"The bullet hit the guy who took me in when my dad wasn't there. It hit him -Joe- in the heart. I killed him." Nate said staring straight ahead.

My heart dropped. I felt myself crying even though I didn't know this Joe. I cried with Nate. "Its not you...that wasn't you Nate."

He shook his head and laughed bitterly like I was lying. "It was my choices Alex! I was a druggie and alcoholic! I slept around with girls every damn night! I killed one of my friends! My own friends Alex!"

Tears fell down his cheeks and he stood up to get away from me. I stood up too. But he held a hand up. "I was a druggie and a murderer!" He yelled at me. "Still living as a murderer but atleast I don't smoke."

"Nate i know why you did that! You were just a kid okay? That wasnt you at all and look at you now...you've changed for the better!"

He laughed again. "Because I was forced into a rehabilitation centre by my grandparents for two years. To deal with the fact that I killed someone and to get clean again. I would still be running the streets if it werent for them because my dad didnt give a fuck about me."

"I don't believe it wasn't partly your choice too. You wanted to change amd thats why you did Nate, don't you see? You've become a better person." I said.

"Tell me how Alex! Tell me? Because im still that boy who didnt have his parents to raise him! People always looked at with pity because they were never around! Im back here and my dad still isn't around! He wouldn't even be around to meet my girlfriend."

"You still turned out to be pretty amazing Nate. Against all odds of your childhood, you showed me the most beautiful thing in the world." I smiled stepping closer to him.

"Oh yeah?" He snorted. "How could i possible show you something beautiful when my life is ugly."

"You showed me how to love." I said. His eyes widened and he looked at me with surprise.

"Really? Me?"

"Yes you. You showed me how to love like its my last second alive Nate Maloley. You're the one who made me the happiest girl." I said tearing up a bit. "I love you so much."

He pulled me into a hug, holding me tightly to him. "How is it that you can still love someone so damaged?" He asked still holding me.

"You're not damaged beyond repair."

He chuckled. "Clearly because you're the girl who fixed this broken soul. You brought back that old Maloley back."

I looked at him. He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear. "Im glad I did that."

"Thanks for not running off because of what I'd done in the past. For a second I thought you'd leave me." He said, fear in his eyes. I couldn't believe he thought that.

"I'd never. Not when I'm this in love you idiot! Besides...we're in this together right?" I linked my hands in his.

"Every thug needs a lady yo!" He said kissed my forehead.

"So this is why Sammy doesn't want me to be with you? Because of some stupid reason that happened years ago?" I asked. My anger at Sammy increasing by the second.

"Partly. I understand why though. He knows my history isnt clean and he doesn't want you to be dragged into all of that. He's afraid I might hurt you...introduce you to drugs and a that." He sighed.

"I'd kill you before you even touch me!" I defended myself.

Nate laughed. "Sammy doesn't believe that because you're his little sister. Just give him some time baby."

I shrugged. I mean I get that he's being caring and it's sweet but the fact that he didn't give me a reason made me angry. He could have just told me...

"Im still not leaving you." I said sliding my hands around his waist. He kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you." He said. "Besides, Sammy will never understand how protective i am over you Alex. With you, I dont think of drugs or drinking. Youre my anchor." He said.

I felt so overwhelmed that tears fell down my cheeks. I stood on tip toes and engulfed him in a hug, his arms around me and lifting me off the ground.

"Thank you for being my hero Nate Maloley."

He smiled. "That's all I've ever wanted to be."

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*tears*

Hope u guys liked this! I literally thought of this last minute bec it just seemed to fit the reason why he left for 2years (rehab)

Its almost over tho :(