impossible | 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙤

nine <3

june 16 1:47pm

tw: talks of sa, abuse, self hatred, angst

SO SORRY GUYS, HOLD HANDS🤝

athena pov

i woke up not long after 1:20. i genuinely had absolutely no motivation. i didn't want to get up, have a shower, go see ranboo, i didnt event want to pick my phone up.

but i forced myself to. i had to right? for ranboo, for chat, for tubbo, for my mom. if i couldn't do it for myself, i would do it for them.

i dragged out a sigh as i reached for my phone

*3 notifications from neighbour▪️*

*2 notifications from bee boy <3*

neighbour▪️▫️

hello

good morning

u still comin over??

other neighbour 🌈

yup, be round in about 10 :)

bee boy<3

hey athena, hows tihngs?
things*

blaze girl

better today , what about you, big T?

i shoved my phone in my hoodie pocket after sending the last message to toby.

i didn't even bother to change my outfit, i just headed over to ranboos in my grey sweats and oversized hoodie, my hair a mess, and sleep in my eyes.

time skip bought to you by the revival book

i knocked a couple times on ranboos door.

"hey athena" he spoke quietly to me.

"hi ranboo." i looked up at him, adjusting to his height again. it had only been a day since i last saw him and now it feels like he's a giant again.

"come in!" he said , holding his arm out , gesturing me inside.

i walked past his arm slowly , making my way over to his bed. i take a seat and shuffle back so i can cross my legs.

he walked in after i did, and also came and crossed his legs on the bed.

(sorry bad writing moment)

"do you feel like you can tell me today?" he says, a sympathetic tone riddling his soft voice.

"i'm going to tell you. i will" i replied , taking a breath. boy was i nervous.

but i trusted him. not like i trusted declan. but a different kind of trust. a trust that you know you can rely on. even though it had only been a couple weeks. i mentioned this before but we just clicked together, i had never met someone who i felt comfortable with immediately , until i met ranboo.

(ik it hasn't been a couple week plz pretend like it has been)

after a couple of breaths, i began.

"so yesterday, after i left your house i got a message from declan." i handed him my phone whilst saying this. "my password is 071104, open imessage and just press his name."

"wait, declan ? as in like , d e c l a n?" he was scrolling through the short text chain.

"yeah. him." i exhaled again. " so he barged in my house and was asking about you. for some reason." ranboo placed my phone back in my lap.

"so um- we" i sighed, trying to spit the words out. "we were just in my room. and he was going on about some wild bullshit, and he kept raising his hand to- threaten me."

ranboo sat in silence and just listened to what i was saying.

"and then he- we- he said" i choked, blinking back tears."

i took a couple of breaths and started again.

"he was - he - he was saying you can't give me what he can? i don't know-" i carried on with the story.

"he- hm- then after-" i just couldn't get the words out.

"he said that- that he could give me what i 'craved' and then- he - he um" my voice got progressively quieter.

"he grabbed - grabbed hold of me. and started-" i took a pause to breathe. " and he started- he started touching me -" i whimpered, my voice breaking at the end of my sentence. "i'm sorry ranboo-" the tears started rapidly flowing from my eyes.

"athena don't even apologise. none of this is your fault." he sympathised with me and just comforted me.

i sat there next to ranboo, my face half covered by my knees. tears continued to spill as the memory replayed in my mind.

"athena, i am so sorry this happened to you. i am so so sorry." he spoke softly , wiping a tear from under my eye.

" i slapped him. i- slapped him really hard." i murmured into my hoodie. "and i feel bad for doing it"

"athena don't feel bad, he should be the one feeling bad."

we sat close whilst he listened to my muffled sobs.

"do you- do you want a hug?" ranboo asked quietly , standing up from the bed.

i thought about it for a moment. did i want a hug? or did i need one? i think it was a bit of both.

i stood up and wrapped my arms around his torso , crying into his shoulder.

he returned the hug, gently wrapping his arms around the top half of my body. his head was held just above mine, so i could feel his warm breath fan over my head.

"it's going to be okay athena , i promise you. i'm going to be here for you."

time skip because i can't write any more i will combust

i was back in my own bed. but now i had a smile on my face , and i was messaging ranboo on discord.

mr boo

are you going to stream today? don't feel pressured or anything!

athena

yes, i am. i have a chill idea in my mind for a stream, and chat always cheers me up

mr boo

i'm glad you feel comfortable streaming!

athena

thank you so much ranboo. for everything. i genuinely don't know how to repay you.

mr boo

you don't need to repay me, i'm just being a good friend<3

athena

i'm going to call toby for a bit ranboo, will be in the trios groupchat if you would like to hop in vc feel free!

mr boo

i'm currently filling out a couple forms for when college starts, but i definitely will afterwards !

athena

ew college, have fun with ur cute little paperworks

mr boo

>:(

i switched dms from ranboos dm, to the groupchat between me, tubbo, ranboo himself? jack manifold, and tommy.

"AYYYY ATHENA, MY MAIN GAL" i hear tubbo greet me as soon as i join the call

"AYEE BIG T" i respond , trying to match his energy the best i could.

1094 words

WRITE IDEAS FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS NEXT TO THIS WRITING

I SOBBED WHEN I WROTE THIS CHAPTER, ITS STILL QUITE SHORT THOUGH

remember , take care of yourselves, i luv u <3