Method Acting || Joe Keery

S E V E N T E E N

Grief and loss are funny. It's like the lens that you view the world through has been changed over. Everything reminds you of the person you lost, and you have to stop yourself from bringing them up constantly.

You also see the people in your life differently. You could lose them at any moment and that's scary, you want to make the most of every moment with them.

So, when I see Joe today. I'm not going to push him away. Emotionally I mean. The boundaries we have still stand, but I'm not going to lose my friend over something that we can't even bring ourselves to speak about.

I'm sitting on the couches in our break area with Maya and Robert. They're sitting hand in hand, their fingers intertwined. Their shoulders are rubbing against each other and their knees knocking the other. Their whole faces light up as they laugh together. They're so in love and it doesn't hurt to watch, it warms my soul. They make me happy, and they make each other happy. What could be better?

They stop laughing and their faces begin to somber as they look at me. At first I think that maybe they're feeling guilty about being happy in front of me, and I go to say something, but then I follow their eyes and realise they're looking behind me. I turn around to see what it is, but I have a feeling I already know.

Joe.

"Joe!" I yell out.

Joe looks up at me and smiles, I wave for him to come over and he starts walking. When I turn back around to face Maya and Robert, they look surprised and I think, concerned?

"It's okay, really," I reassure them.

They nod slowly. Unconvinced.

"Hey guys," Joe says as he approaches us.

Everyone says hi to Joe, and he shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and shuffled his feet awkwardly.

"Come sit down," I say to him, patting the spot next to me.

I think part of me realises I'm testing the boundaries of our friendship now. Seeing how far we can manage without it getting painful.

His face looks surprised, but he complies and sits down next to me. Not too close, and careful not to touch.

"Are you finished filming for today?" Joe asks us.

Maya and I nod.

"I'm on break, but I finish being errand boy at 5," Robert laughs.

"You do a lot for us, I don't think we'd be able to do the show without you," Joe says sweetly.

Robert beams, and my heart swells. I instruct my heart to go back to regular size immediately, though. Trying to keep my feelings in check.

Joe turns to me, and I press my lips together as I feel the burn from from his gaze. I quickly move my lips apart as I remember what he said about when I press my lips together like that.

He's poking his tongue in the side of his cheek, with a smirk on his face and I know that he noticed. Shit.

"Do you want to run lines for Friday?" Joe asks me.

I look down at my fingers. Unsure what to say.

"Isn't Friday your kissing scene?" Maya asks.

I look at Maya and mentally thank her for saying it so that I don't have to.

"Yeah, so?" Joe asks.

Maya raises her eyebrows.

"So, do you think it's wise to be running lines for that kind of scene right now?" Maya says, a serious look on her face.