F O U R T Y • O N E

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"Hey," Joe says softly, grabbing my wrist gently, as I walk by on my way to clean off the makeup from todays scene.

I give him a grin, as I look up into his eyes.

"Do you want to do something tonight?" He asks me.

I tilt my head to the side, and half smile.

"We're doing something tomorrow," I tell him, reminding him of Dacres going-away-bowling-event.

Joe rolls his eyes.

"I meant something with just us," He explains, as if it was obvious, "Then, I can pick you up tomorrow, or..." He pulls me by the wrist closer to him.

I laugh at him implying he could stay over. We've only spent two nights away from each other this week, and that was very reluctantly.

I lick my lips, as I look up into his brown, puppy dog eyes.

"Let's do something," I agree.

Joe smiles, and I spy his dimples that I just want to kiss.

"I was thinking a restaurant, or something?" He offers.

My smile falls, and a feeling of dread settles in my stomach, replacing the feeling of warmth that sat there a moment ago.

"What?" He asks.

"Like, in public?" I ask him.

His eyes search mine, trying to find the problem, when he realises.

"You worried about being seen with me?" Joe asks me.

"We just haven't really talked about going public yet, and I know when it does come out that people will say stuff about me, you and Gemma, and the show, and I just don't know if I can handle that right now," I tell him.

Joe chews on his lip thoughtfully, as he watches me.

"We've been out in public together though," He tells me, "We were holding hands at the cafe just the other day,"

I sigh. I had been thinking about that. What if someone saw us? Nothing had showed up on Twitter or Instagram as far as I can tell, but I just know if it did, it would bring new drama into our freshly reunited relationship.

"We've been lucky. But, a date at a restaurant is going to be pretty obvious. Someone is bound to see us. We'll probably end up on Deuxmoi, or something," I explain.

"I understand how you feel, and it's a valid worry. But, are you sure you're not looking for reasons for things to go wrong?" He asks me.

I knew he'd think that. I'd told him about going to therapy, and me catastrophizing things and self sabotaging is one thing we'd talked about this week. I know he's just trying to help, but I'd like my concerns taken seriously too.

"I'm just scared of all the hate putting a damper on all the good we're feeling right now," I tell him.

"I'm in love, Charlee. I don't want to have to hide that. Not after hiding it for so long already," Joe says, his eyes burrowing into mine.

Sometimes I forget it's been longer for him. That he'd loved me first.

I bring my hands up to his shoulders, and rub them reassuringly. The electricity that still flows between us actually making my fingertips tingle.

"I've just been so worried about how the fans, and everyone else is going to react," I tell him.

"What if, instead of stressing about when it's going to happen, when we get caught together and who will catch us, we just ripped the bandaid off and did it ourselves? We can limit our comments on our social media, and detox the internet for a week or so, and not have to have this hanging over us, not knowing when and how its coming," Joe propositions with a shrug.

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