Notes with a smile on it // dnf

Chapter 23: Opinions

TWs: Swearing, Homophobia, Mention of a panic attack, Panic attack, and Aggression/Violence

____________________________________

Dream POV:

To be honest I never really liked Lukas in the first place. He just kinda appeared out of nowhere and now, he's everywhere. He's nice and all, but I just don't see the big fuss about him. So, I barely pay attention to anything that's said about him.

George started to bring him around to hang out with us, he seems to always be around him. It seems like the two of them were getting close to one another.

Now, don't get me wrong. We still hang out all the time, but the time he doesn't. He's with Lukas. I find him irritating, but that's probably just my jealousy talking. Sapnap and Karl have complained about it too many times for me to count.

All of us knew they were in some sort of relationship due to what happened at the party. It left me a little depressed and I tried to hide it for the most part.

It didn't help that I walked in on them making out on the couch as I was about to have a panic attack.

For starters, I thought George would be home alone like he usually is a Wednesday night and he hadn't mentioned to me any other plans. So, I figured it would be okay if I went over.

Now, for the reasoning behind my panic attack.

Normal afternoon, nothing was out ordinary. My father started to clean up his act like he said he would, I could tell was trying. However, I was still cautious. He came home looking annoyed that day, which scared me a little. I was still at the counter minding my own business drinking my glass of water when he came up behind me and said

"Son, we need to talk, again"

His tone was different than last time, it was less welcoming. He placed a firm grip on my shoulder, which made me jump a little bit, and spun the stood I was sitting on.

"Yes father"

I replied trying not to sound terrified

"I need you to answer me honestly when I ask you this"

I nodded as he placed his other hand on my opposite shoulder with a firm grip.

"Are you gay?"

I sat still in silence as the little I had confidence left my being. my mind drifted to the countless homophobic things he's said indirectly and directly.

After pausing for a few seconds I shook my head vigorously worried as to what would come if I said yes. I felt his grip tighten on my shoulders as he grits his teeth and frowned.

Seething anger radiated from his facial expression.

"Didn't I tell you to answer honestly"

I swallowed the lump in my throat trying to remain as calm as I possibly could at the moment.

"I did"

He still had a strong grip on my shoulders seconds passed and his grip would only tighten. It started to hurt.

He finally looked me dead in the eye as if it were the only way for me to admit it. It didn't work.

My father let go of my shoulders forcefully which caused the back of my chair to hit the counter.

He sighed heavily and looked down at his feet as his disappointment seeped into the air. There were a few seconds of silence before his hand turned into a fist. Within a moment he looked up at me with an antagonizing gaze.