Silent Love, Silent Pain [Levi x OC]

64. Frustration 🔥

Sophie fell asleep quickly as she was still under the influence of a calming serum that Hange gave her, but she woke up earlier than usual, still feeling sick from what she did yesterday.

But oh, she woke up next to Levi. Her beloved Levi, who always believed in them. Who was always there to comfort her. Who didn't push her away once. And what was she doing in return? Trying to kill him and then urging them to drift apart. She was terrible. Heartless bitch, the only words that she found right to describe herself. What did she do to deserve this angel of a man? What did she do to deserve his patience? Nothing.

She turned to another side and faced him. She leaned closer and gently grabbed his hand, throwing it on her so she could be wrapped by him. She bit her lip as she watched his face. He was tired, she could tell by the dark circles under his eyes that didn't vanish despite the fact that he was sleeping. How long did he stay awake? Was he watching her for the whole night? Was it because he was worried about her or of her? She really couldn't tell at this point.

She rubbed his cheeks softly, making sure that it wouldn't wake him up. It was too tempting to resist the ability to touch him, to feel him. Oh, she missed his touch so much. Yet she was the one to tell him to not touch her, to stay away last night. She was a goddamn fool. She was ruining everything. Her genes, her blood, her self pity - if she didn't want to make more damage she had to stop. Maybe she really pitied herself too much. Maybe Levi had a right to be frustrated with her. No, not maybe. He had the right to do so. She had to get her shit together and try better. Be a better woman for him as he deserved it. He deserved to be happy and she had to do everything she possibly could to make that happen. She had to try harder and stop complaining. She had to accept her limits and embrace her flaws. Otherwise they would be damned. With that thought on her mind she tried to fall asleep again, it was easier this time as she calmed down and had her beloved so close to her body.

When Levi woke up later in the morning he was actually surprised to find Sophie being so close. He wasn't going to complain though. Instead he buried his face in the crook of her neck and sighed deeply, exhaling the air just to breathe in her sweet scent. His hands wrapped involuntarily around her and he pulled her even closer. She was his. No matter how hard it was sometimes he wasn't going to give up. It wasn't an option, it never was. It was completely off the table. Sophie belonged with him. He belonged with her. Nothing was going to change that and the whole world could go fuck itself. Sometimes it hurt like hell, but it was all worth it. She was worth it and he knew that she would always be.

"Love?" she called him that and his heart immediately stopped for a moment. She opened these beautiful emerald eyes that matched the ring on her finger and smiled at him. It was messing with his head. Last night she was all shaky and lost, for valid reasons of course. It made him anxious and scared for their future. It made him angry and annoyed as well as they have already been through this. And now she was all calm with joyful sparkles in her eyes. It baffled him, the rapidness of that change. He wasn't going to complain though. On the contrary. He was going to cherish that change and thank all the gods that were there for that positive turn of events, for a hope.

"Yeah?" he replied quietly, waiting for her to say something more. He was rubbing the small of her back, sending chills all over her spine, making her need for him only increase.

"Let's get to work," she finally said and much to his surprise she got up quickly and started putting her clothes on. Usually he was the first one to care for duties. "What are you waiting for? Come on," she smiled at him again. It wasn't a sad smile or fake one. No, it was completely genuine. It caught him off guard, he didn't know how to react, but he played along and acted as if the last night didn't happen.