Silent Love, Silent Pain [Levi x OC]

95. Poisonous relations

Sophie spent that night crouched in the corner of her room, refusing to eat, sleep or look at other people. If felt as if she froze in place, disconnected from reality. "Soph, please talk to me," Levi whispered as he kneeled in front of her. She didn't react to his words. She didn't even grimace nor shook her head and glared at him, snapping and calling him out. Nothing. It was devastating. Deep down he knew he deserved that treatment from breaking her trust, no matter the fact that it was the right thing to do. He broke that trust, thus he had to deal with the consequences. Alas, he had a feeling that her silence and lack of reaction wasn't caused by her unwillingness to talk to him. No, something was telling him that there was another layer to it. He could bet all of his stuff that it was caused by Lara's words. Willy would be really disappointed in you right now, that's what she told Sophie. Right after that she became quiet, not even showing off her well justified anger. "Please, Soph. Talk to me," he said again, there was a slight tone of desperation in his voice, something he could barely control.

Why can't they have a moment of peace? He wondered. Why is his relationship a constant swing with ups and downs? Mostly downs actually, at least now. He wasn't going to quit it, no chance in hell. Alas, it was exhausting. It seemed like troubles in this relationship were never-ending. Would it change after the war is over? He wondered that too. He wished to find the answers, he wished to be prepared for what the future held for them. God, he hoped the fortune would be merciful. Sophie suffered enough. He...suffered enough too, right? Was he even allowed to say it? He didn't know. It felt wrong to feel like this. He killed people in the past. Heck, he was still killing them, most recently yesterday. He didn't deserve a break from troubles, right? His mind was in a state of conflict right now. The only source of peace in his life was currently refusing to talk to him. It was upsetting. Deeply, utterly, greatly upsetting.

He finally sighed, seeing that she wasn't going to engage in a conversation. Was capturing a Tybur worth sacrificing her progress? Others probably had no doubts that it was, yet he didn't feel the same. He sat on the floor next to her and just kept on watching her. He didn't move at all, spending the whole night like this with her, hoping that she would speak up eventually. It didn't happen for the whole night. In the morning she had dark circles under her eyes that worried him greatly. "Soph?" He tried again, but with no luck.

"How is she?" Hange peeked through a gap in the door. Levi didn't answer, just looked at her with eyes just as miserable as right after they freed Sophie from Tyburs. It was heart-wrenching to see him suffer not only again, but also so quickly. "I'll bring breakfast here," she just mumbled and left them only to return with two cups of tea and two plates full of bread and meat. "Oldin brought food this morning," she explained. "He wants us to gain strength for...you know what," she stopped herself from telling about the mountains when she looked at Sophie. Tyburs were spying on her, that was obvious. Levi nodded at her, his eyes telling her to leave them alone. She did that and only then Sophie looked at him.

His heart stopped immediately as he waited in anticipation if she would say something. "Why didn't you tell me where you were going to be?" She asked and looked at the cup on the floor, grabbing it and taking a sip. She went straight to the point which surprised him. Not because she hadn't been blunt in the past, she actually had, but because she kept on avoiding serious conversations these last couple of weeks.

She asked a good question. He didn't understand why he lied about that. That extra lie seemed unnecessary to him. Alas, that's what Erwin commanded him to do. "It was Erwin's idea," he said. "You know that it's hard to follow his way of thinking," he tried to defend himself, but she didn't seem convinced.

"How can I be sure that you're not lying to me again?" She asked suddenly, staring at him with a challenge in her eyes. It felt like she was getting more emotional with every passing minute. It felt almost as if she was put in an ice, preventing her from reacting and now was being melted, escaping the prison and allowing herself to talk freely.