just his barista... (RanbooLiveX!FemOC) [DISCONTINUED]

3️⃣1️⃣

luke <3

although it's been a week since that singular tweet that completely destroyed the secretive relationship we had, people were still talking about it.
i've been feeling anxious all day again. the stuff that had happened on twitter has made me avoid that and streaming for the past week.
i never disappeared from streams, i would join vcs with phil, will and tom just to chat but only for like 30 minutes.
elsie was the one who felt the worst out of the two of us. she's been apologising every time we talk on discord or facetime. she's been worrying herself sick, making herself bed-bound for the past two days. it made me want to hold her for ages to make her feel better, but obviously i couldn't.

i woke up this morning without a message from elsie. i walked into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, toby was in there, looking at his phone with some wide eyes.
"what?, what's so interesting?" i asked. toby looked up with his eyes and showed me his phone screen.
it was elsie's new stream layout that i made for her from when she was here in britain, but in her room instead. confused, i took his phone from him and stared at it.
"it's from this morning at like 4." he explained.
i pressed play on the video and watched as she slowly swung in her chair, hugging her left knee.

"so a lot of things have happened since i've come back from britain." she started. she began to fiddle with her hands, it was a habit she's begun to have when she gets nervous.
"as you've probably seen on twitter, ranboo and i were ... being 'intimate' i think it says, when i was at the airport ... by the way you could've literally said that we were hugging or something."
she stopped and fiddled her hair with her fingers before continuing.
"if i'm honest, i feel like my personal life, and ranboo's personal life shouldn't be on the internet and be your peak point of interest. it's not your business whatever we do." she explained. "even if we were dating. it shouldn't change your views on us as content creators anyways."
the clip then ended.
i gave toby the phone back and let out a deep breath that i didn't know i was holding.
"did she say it the way you wanted to?" he asked.
"yeah i guess so, i would've preferred that she spoke to me first but, she's been worrying herself sick about it anyways." i replied, toby nodded in agreement and continued to eat his breakfast, i left the room and tried to call elsie.

"hey." i heard her say, her voice very groggy.
"hey, i saw your vod a couple of minutes ago." i said.
"oh, right. are you ok with what i said?" she asked, i could hear the concern in her voice rising.
"yeah yeah it was fine, just a little warning would've been fine." i replied.
"oh. i-i'm sorry, i probably should've but it was all impulse and it was 2am for you at the time so i didn't want to wake you up accidentally or something." she explained quickly.
"no no no, it's okay, i swear its fine." i reassured her. "go back to sleep if you need to." i said.
"i might, call you later?" she asked.
"okay, i love you." i said.
"i love you too." she replied
i ended the call.

🖤🤍

elsie <3

i put my phone down and held my head in my hands and let out a big sigh. this week's been rough. too much has happened since i had come back that i had to get rid of one thing before doing anything else.

i found out, that that 'new person' that dad went to dinner more than a year ago, (way back just when luke and i had just met) they had gone out on many dates after that one night. they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

my dad had replaced my mom.

my mom was out of the picture for our family.

i haven't had the guts to tell luke yet, he couldn't do anything to help anyways.

and the way i found out wasn't the greatest either,

flashback <3

it was my second night back and i had just gotten back home from spending the day with meghan, i entered my house and walked into the kitchen to grab a snack and i saw someone. she was tall and she had blonde, curly hair that was cut to her shoulders.
"uhm. who are you?" i asked. her eyes widened and she took a sip of red wine from the glass i didn't realise that she was holding.
"oh hi darling, i'm emma." she said with an english accent, holding her hand out for me to shake it.

"i'm your dad's girlfriend." she added. i scoffed,
"really now..." i answered sarcastically.
"he did tell you ... right?" she asked.
"i've been in the UK, so probably not." i smiled unwillingly.
"honey, we've been dating for more than a year now." she confessed.

what.

i heard my dad come out of the bathroom and walk into the kitchen, he stopped with embarrassment at the door when he realised that i was in the room.
"oh, elsie love ... i thought you weren't going to be back until later tonight." he said to me with an awkwardness forming in his stance.
"this is ... emma, my-"
"mom's replacement. i get it." i interrupted, anger starting to boil in my blood.
"oh honey, i don't want to replace your mom." emma tried to explain, i turned to face her and stopped her.
"i'm gonna stop you there. i don't want to deal with this right now ... i'm going to bed." i stated.

i walked out of the kitchen and upstairs, my dad followed me up.
"elsie please." he pleaded.
"i don't want to hear it dad ... you could've told me months ago and you never bothered. i would've been happy for you, really. but i just want to be alone." i spat, entering my room and slamming the door.

end of flashback <3

i spent the next week in my bed, crying, only leaving my room to use the bathroom and eat cereal at every meal time. too much had happened for myself to comprehend it all.
i hadn't been speaking to my dad either, i was purposely avoiding him at all costs.

i should tell luke, he'd make me feel better.

maybe i should just move away from here, get my own apartment.

maybe i should let dad explain

or maybe, i should just let go.