christmas tree farm

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C H A P T E R         F O R T Y    E I G H T

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C H A P T E R F O R T Y E I G H T

With static in my ear and frost on my boots I walked around the Christmas tree farm hearing the magical jingle of bells in the distance.

Everything was icy and merry, people bundled in mittens and winter coats, loved-up couples kissing beneath the mistletoe and children laughing as they played on sleighs, believing all of their wishes were going to come true.

String lights ran up above, from tree to tree, illuminating the farm with a ray of festive colours.

My heart clenched when I set eyes on him, walking through the forest of pines. He pulled the collar up on his navy duffle to shield his face from the cold.

He was cold.

For some reason, that made me yearn.

He laughed at something Adrian said and then twirled Grace under his arm, dancing with her under the sparkling lights. The red velvet dress he picked out for her spun like a ballerina and she giggled, so carefree, happy and safe.

I leaned back against the bark of a fir tree, breathing in and out deeply and watching the warm mist gather in front of my face. He drank from his Santa-patterned paper cup, breathing in the steam that lifted from his mulled wine and then closed his eyes appreciating the taste.

"Ma'am? Do you have eyes on the target?" Brussels voice buzzed down my ear piece, ruining my moment.

"I do." I replied with regret.

"Our men are in their places. You are both surrounded, whenever you're ready Ma'am."

I didn't move. I just watched and in this moment I never felt more alone. Families all around me shared in the feeling of togetherness and love, their hearts were full of one another.

I missed out on my life, my childhood, actually being aloud to love my family. Everything wholesome, everything that mattered, the mafia ruined it all. The mafia is still ruining it all.

"Anytime now Ma'am." Brussels encouraged like I didn't hear him the first time.

"Minced pie, miss?" My lips twitched into a smile, Jacob wiggled a bell on the end of his green elf hat and pushed a tray of pies under my nose.

"You look ridiculous." I laughed.

"What? Santa's elves don't do it for you." My smile faded. You don't do it for me, not any more but I was leaving Ace behind and taking his daughter with me.

Is this what I was subjecting myself to? Shit sex and forced to finish off the job off myself with a vibrator?

"Just go take the pies over there." I sighed out. I watched Jacob approach them. Adrian instantly took a pie and bit into it. Ace rejected the offer, damn it.

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