Solitude -> The Walking Dead

57

The days after Beth dragged on. Clouded by an unspoken grief and overwhelmed with hunger and thirst, we walked in what we believed to be the path to Washington.

No one spoke of what happened, how could we? We were on a losing streak. Bob, Beth and then Tyreese. A trip to the suburbs gone wrong. And it only amplified the helplessness that was slowly creeping into everyone.

Each day, I would wake and see my own grief reflected in the faces of Maggie and Sasha. All three of us had lost siblings and all three of us didn't want to talk about it. There are no words that could encompass how it feels.

The lack of supplies didn't help our situation one bit. Without them, there might be even more grief coming our way.

"There's nothing here." Abby complained.

She looked around the looming forest trees, awaiting any possible threats, while I checked the ground for any sign of water nearby. We had divided into small pairs to search for water or food or both.

I frowned at the ground. "We have to make sure, Abby."

Even as I said it, I knew she was right. None of us have been successful and it was starting to show. But there was nothing I could do other than try.

"The group will either start to worry or leave without us if we stay here any longer." she argued.

Of all the arguments, she chose the wrong ones when it came to this discussion. As if though Dakota would let anyone leave us behind. They tried that with Merle, it didn't end well.

"Firstly, they wouldn't leave with us. Secondly, even if they had to, Daryl would be able to find us in his sleep."

Hell, I'd be impressed if Rick doesn't lead whole search parties for us in that scenario. Ever since Terminus, ever since the fall of the prison, he's been aggressively protective.

Not that I was complaining, but it brought out a different side of him. One that's not necessarily beneficial for his or the group's mental state.

Abby turned abruptly to face me with a scowl on her face. "Why are you stalling, Jo? I've known you my whole life, I know when you're trying to be clever but failing."

I hesitated before getting up and looking her straight in the face. This was proving to be more nerve-wracking than I anticipated. I used to be able to talk to her about anything.

Now I just feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. A very snarky wall, but still.

"I think we should talk about Lizzie and Mika."

"No, we should not."

A response I expected. From the way Carol shut down about it, there was obviously a story there. One no one was willing to talk about unless forced to.

Thankfully, I prepared for a possible roadblock with that statement. Spent a few embarrassingly long nights coming up with it, actually.

"I know how you feel. Living with all that survivor's guilt, thinking it should've been you-" she cut me off with a scoff and a shake of the head.

"You have no idea how I fucking feel."

My jaw clenched as my anger rose up from where I'd been pushing it down for weeks now. I have been doing everything I possibly could to understand how she feels. It's not my fault she didn't want to share any of that information.

"So, then tell me!" I said raising my voice.

All I want is for her to be okay. And seeing her these last couple of weeks, she isn't. Her focus is on the twins, sometimes on Carl and that's it. Not even he can reach her anymore.