Solitude -> The Walking Dead

31

"Is it odd that I kind of miss Carol?"

Daryl's hand stroked my hair as we both laid in a cell. It was early in the morning and I'd snuck out to see him. I knew I probably shouldn't have considering I couldn't give him what he wants.

Daryl deserves someone who will give him everything he could ever hope for and more. Every moment that I spend lying to him and myself will only hurt more in the end. Yet there was something so magnetic in being in his arms.

Maybe it's because he was the only person I didn't have to lie to about who I was. He knew I had issues and he still didn't mind being in the same bed as me. That takes guts.

"She was part of our group. Missin' her is what most people consider normal." Daryl pointed out.

I propped myself up onto my elbows as I gave him a stern look. His hair was ruffled from sleep, yet he looked wide awake.

Carol helped me feel like I belonged in the group, even when scolding me for my behavior. It almost doesn't seem real that she's gone. I never thought I'd miss her as much as I did.

"We're not most people, remember?" I said.

We're the outcasts of the group, both damaged in ways they could never understand. Daryl and I know what it's like to be beaten and made to feel like shit.

Others have never experienced what we have. It's what made Daryl and I see past our hate. In the end, it's what made me like him even when I thought I hated him.

"You were friends, Josephine. That kind of shit ain't gonna pass over night." Daryl replied.

A sigh left my lips I rested my head against his bare chest. I didn't want to grieve her death, it didn't feel right. The only people I have ever shed tears for are my siblings.

To grieve Carol doesn't feel right. There's a nagging feeling in my gut, but no tears have left my eyes. It might seem heartless but I'm glad I'm not crying. I don't need any more pain.

"We should get up. We have a busy day ahead of us." I mumbled.

I lifted my head as he connected our lips. A groan escaped me as I pulled away. If he keeps kissing me like that, we'll never leave this cell. He smirked at me before getting up.

I followed his lead before sneaking back to my cell. After getting dressed, everyone slowly woke up. We were all gathered by the tables as breakfast was served.

An uncomfortable silence filled the air yet it didn't stop me from devouring the food in front of me. I nudged Ryan to eat as well and he did so with a heavy sigh leaving his lips.

"Everybody okay?" A voice inquired.

My head immediately turned to the sound of Rick's voice. He looked better than the last time I saw him.

I tensed remembering our last encounter. That wasn't him though. The leader we know would never hurt one of our own.

"Yeah, we are." Maggie confirmed.

"What about you?" Hershel asked.

Rick carefully stepped forward, as if testing how far he could go. He was still dazed but in a less murderous way. Everyone waited for a response from him, a sign that the Rick we know is there.

"Cleared out the boiling block." Rick replied.

I furrowed my eyebrows. Although that's what Glenn and I found in the prison, dead walkers, it still didn't make sense he could do it on his own. It took an entire group to reach this cell block, let alone others.