Chapter 20: Hmm... Touchy Stuff

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CW: talk about death

Virgil looked up and down from his sketchbook, trying to get the right look of the water flowing in the stream. He traced over lines, scribbling away at the curves and folds of the babbling brook where it was shallow in one place.

He heard slight rustling, but didn't react other than to smile as his hand slowed slightly. He steadied his hand as he drew lightly, ready to pull his pencil away as fast as possible.

There was the quiet sound of an animal dashing towards him, and Virgil dropped his pencil. He turned around just as Darrell jumped onto him, yipping loudly. The fairy laughed, giving his fox friend scratches.

"Come on out, Roman," he called, looking through the trees.

"Ha! You couldn't see me!" Roman cheered, appearing from nowhere. His cheeks were flushed from the effort of using his magic. "Yes! My glamour has been getting stronger!"

"How long was it up?"

"Five minutes! I know you have great senses, so I put it up before we got close. Were you able to hear me?"

Virgil shook his head with a slight laugh. "No, it's gotten really good. Though, I was able to feel your magic."

"Well I don't know how to disguise that!" The witch came closer, sitting down at the edge of the rock.

"We've both been practicing our glamour for the past week so maybe we'll both learn? Or maybe there isn't a way to hide it."

Roman hummed, propping his elbow on his knee and leaning against his hand as he sat criss cross. "What does my magic feel like to you?"

Virgil frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, when I'm near you your magic feels bright. Well, okay it's like I can feel this energy coming from you? Do you feel that with me?"

"No, not really. I feel a tug in my chest whenever you're near. I thought it was the same for everyone?"

"Do you know if it was the same for your fairy parents?"

The fairy's hand slowed as he stopped petting Darrell, making the fox whine. "I... I can't really remember. It was too long ago."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"It-it's fine..." Virgil frowned when he felt that strange negative feeling come from Roman again. "Actually, can we talk about empath magic? It seems to be my strongest magic, and I've always known others feelings, but there are some that I don't know."

"Oh, right, empath magic is really difficult. I haven't heard much about it, but maybe we could figure out the answer to your questions together?"

"Well... I pretty much understand most emotions. Some emotions are a mix of others and what not but... There's one I can't figure out. There's this heavy emotion that is like... a dark muddy green... and-and I can't figure it out. It's a bad feeling, and it worries me."

"Well, who felt that emotion?"

Virgil bit his lip, his heart threatening to burst from his chest. "You. All the time, I can feel it in you. It's deep, but it's always there."

"Oh..." Roman's eyes seemed to darken, and the feeling grew. "I-I think I know what you're talking about then."

The fairy hated the look on Roman's face. The heavy feeling grew, it was stronger than it had ever been, and the witch looked so sad. "What is it?"

"It's... guilt." That was the last thing Virgil expected to hear. They were quiet for a moment before Roman spoke up again. "I um... I did something a long time ago. Something stupid. People got hurt and I... I never forgave myself. I don't deserve to be forgiven anyway."

"I... I don't believe that." Virgil shook his head. "I mean, I believe that what you feel is guilt but... Whatever you did I'm sure you deserve to be forgiven. People make stupid mistakes all the time I...! I mean I know from experience. I always mess up and feel guilty about it for a long time, but logically I know it was just a mistake."

"You don't understand, I hurt people! I hurt my- I mean... I hurt my family."

"Did you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But-"

"Virgil, please." He said it softly, but the fairy still flinched at the sharp feeling that came from Roman. Oh... he made him angry, he pushed too far.

"I'm sorry," Virgil mumbled.

The witch sighed, "It's okay. I know you're curious but I... it's hard to talk about."

"I understand. You know... for a while I blamed myself for what happened to my parents. My colony. When I lost all of them, it happened so quickly, but my parents practically sacrificed themselves for me. I didn't forgive myself for a long time so what I did... I basically separated myself. I took a look at what happened that night, and I looked at myself like I was anyone else but me. This little kid, just nine years old and waking up to the sound of people shouting. He was confused and scared, and his parents tried to get them out of there. He was chased by men with nets and dogs, god the dogs were so fast. His mom wasn't there, she was fighting the men to save their colony. But his dad was, and eventually they stopped but they were still being chased. The-the dad told the kid to run and not stop, he promised they would find him. So the kid ran, and he didn't stop running. He did exactly what his dad told him, and his parents did exactly what any parent would do for the kids. He blamed himself but he was only nine. It wasn't his fault."

Roman pulled his knees to his chest. "I was seventeen. I should have known better."

"Maybe, but I'm sure there's a reason you did what you did."

"It wasn't a good reason."

"It doesn't have to be. That seventeen year old thought it was a good reason, but yeah some people ended up getting hurt."

"Died. They died."

Virgil frowned in worry, the emotion coming from Roman was getting really heavy. He looked down as Darrell nuzzled his hand. "I'm sorry." He scratched behind Darrell's ear.

"I appreciate that you're trying to cheer me up, but I'm not going to get over this. I don't think I ever will, and honestly I don't want to. I did something I was told I should never do, and it had consequences. I would rather I take this guilt to the grave."

The fairy nodded, though he moved himself closer to Roman, Darrell following him. "Okay then, but I don't think any less of you."

Roman was quiet for a moment before asking, "How did you find Patton?"

Virgil smiled, wrapping an arm around him. "Well... it was actually his parents that found me. I told you that I didn't stop running- well I was flying really. I only stopped when I ran out of energy and I barely slept, but I didn't eat anything. After two days, I ran into a field full of corn. Of course, I took some and ate, then Mom and Dad- my human parents caught me. They scared me a lot at first, and I tried to act scary." The fairy laughed, "Can you imagine that? Little me raising open my wings and hissing at you! I have no idea how I thought that would work. But they weren't scared, and they tried to show that they wouldn't hurt me. They promised me more food and a place, and I was so hungry and tired that I couldn't say no."

"That's dangerous."

"Well I wouldn't do it again! I was nine, and I was lost. I needed a place to stay until my parents found me. So I stayed with them, and Patton tried to talk to me all the time. I stayed outside whenever I could, and hid from other humans. I waited for my parents to come, just like they promised. I-I have a necklace that they made, they infused it with their magic somehow and can find it wherever it goes?"

"I've heard about something like that." Roman leaned his head against Virgil's shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I knew it worked so I waited. But... a week passed and they never came. I didn't learn until later that the men who attacked us were called monster hunters but... Yeah. I remember so clearly the moment I realized that my parents weren't coming, and I remember asking Mom and Dad if I could stay forever. Obviously they said yes."

"They sound like good parents."

Virgil smiled, resting his head on Roman's. "They were amazing."

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