Ereri oneshots

The Letter

TW: Suicide

My dear Eren,

When you read this, I'm probably not alive anymore. Just know it's not your fault. If you weren't there I probably would've done it already long ago, but now it just all got too much. My past caught me up and I just couldn't live with it anymore. I honestly didn't know how you'd react to this. You'll probably be sad for a while, but you'll get over me. You're gonna find someone new and become happy with them, maybe even getting kids with them. I just want you to be happy and don't think about me for too long. You'll get along without me. I know you can do this. You're strong. Much stronger than I'll ever be. This is goodbye, Eren. I love you with my entire soul and I want you to never forget that.

Fourever

Levi

I stare at the peace of paper in my hands and still can't believe what is happening right now. How long has it been since he started to feel this way? And why didn't I notice anything? Levi was never the most open person, but how did he manage to hide this? I look at Levi again, who lays on the floor in a  lake of his own blood. I don't know how long I've been sitting here next to him, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I take a deep breath, before laying my finger on the vain on his neck and feel a week, regular pulsing under them. Thank god. ,,Levi, please hold on.", I whisper and stroke over his pale face, while hot tears keep running down my face. He's gonna make it. He just has to. I don't know what I would too, if he didn't. There I hear the bell ringing and instantly jump up, heading to the door. I wait like a half minute until I see five paramedics heading up the stairs and I step away to let them through, hoping they won't try to talk to me, 'cause I'm defintly not in the condition to properly talk to anyone. ,,Where is it?", one of them, a blond women says and I just stare at her for a few seconds. ,,L-Livingroom.", I just mange to say and the women noods, before heading into the apartment.

Later

I sit in the waitingroom and stare into the air. I don't know how long I've been sitting here already. In my head is just one thing: Levi needs to make it. I wait for like another thirty minutes, until a brunette woman in a smock walks towards me. ,,And?", I ask and nearly jump up from my chair. ,,He lost a lot of blood, but he got a blood transplantation and we managed to get him stable again.", she answers and I nood slowly. ,,Can I see him?" ,,But he's not awake yet." ,,Can I anyway? I just...need to see him."  The women sights. ,,Fine. Follow me.", she finally says and I nood again. I follow her for quite a while through the long hallways, until we come to a door. ,,I'm gonna leave you alone then.", the brunette says, before leaving. I look at the white door infront of me and bite my teeth together. I take a deep breath, before opening it with eyes closed and when I'm in I close it behind me again. Do I really wanna see him like that? Honestly not, but what else am I supposed to do? I breath in again, before opening my eyes. There he is. Cables and tubes all over conected to his so week seeming body and a monitor next to the bed he's laying shows his regular heartbeat. It rips my heart into a thousand peaces to see him like this. I stand there for a few seconds, before I slowly walk towards Levi and sit on the chair next to his bed. I look at his face, which is still pale, but not as pale like it was before. His eyes are closed and his mouth is slightly opend. He looks calm, like he's sleeping. Carefully I take his hand and stroke with my thumb over it. ,,You scared the shit out of me, you know that?", I ask quitely and sight. ,,Wake up soon, okay?" I sit there for a while just staring at my boyfriend, until I start getting tired, but I don't wanna leave yet. If I only did, 'cause after five minutes I feel myself falling into a dreamless sleep. I don't know how long I'm sleeping when I suddenly get woken up by feeling someone going through my hair. ,,Eren, wake up!" Slowly I open my eyes and look into two grey ones. I sit up and stare at Levi with big eyes. ,,Levi?", I ask and hate that my voice starts to shake again. There I can suddenly see a certan guilt on his face and he looks away. ,,Hey, Eren.", Levi whispers and wraps his arms around his body. I look at him confused, not really sure what to do or say. ,,This is akward.", he says after a while and I furrow my brows. ,,What do you mean?", I ask and the raven looks at me like I just said the most stupid thing he had ever heard. ,,I just...I mean...I...Ah, fuck!" Levi burries his face in his hands and I hear him sobbing quitely. Is he...crying? ,,Come here.", I say and pull him into a hug. I instantly feel my shirt getting wet. So he's actually crying. What do I do now? I've never seen him crying before and this right now is completely overhelming. ,,I'm sorry, I-", Levi starts but I interrupt him. ,,Ssssh, it's okay. You don't have to be sorry.", I whisper and pull him a little closer to my body. ,,But-" ,,Shut up." (Me trying to comfort someone. Okay, okay, I'll shut up already!) We sit like that for I don't know how long until it seems like he calmed down a little. ,,Will you now tell me why you did this?", I ask in a soft thone and look at him. ,,It was just too much. I haven't been doing very well anyway and then I lost my job and felt completely useless just sitting around and being able to do nothing. On the top I've been constantly thinking about some shit that happend in the past and it just all got too much, so I haven't really seen another way out of this." I hate how ashamed Levi sounds. He doesn't deserve to feel like that. ,,Why didn't you just talk to me? We could've got you help.", I ask and he looks away. ,,I didn't want you to bother with my shit.", the raven answers and I furrow my brows. ,,But now look at where this got you. Levi, I love you with my entire heart and if you just would've talked to me, I defintly would've listend to you. You're not bothering me with anything. I know our current situation isn't the best right now and I have no fucking clue what you've been through but I'll do anything to help you through this, I promise." Levi leans against my chest and sobs quitely. ,,I just think...I don't think you would have missed me for so long. You would've found someone else really quick. You would've gotten over me." ,,I could never get over you. I'd miss you every day." ,,Why? There's nothing anyone could possibly miss about me." ,,There is." ,,And what?" ,,Everything. Too many things I could count off." ,,That's cheesy." ,,No, really. Just the imagenation of no one screaming I should take my shoes off  'cause the dirt drives him insane when I come home makes me sad." Levi sights and wraps his arms around my torso. ,,Please tell me you haven't found this letter.", he says and I go through his hair. ,,I did. And it was the most weardest thing I've ever red.", I answer and he groans. ,,Shit, this is so embarresing.", he says and before I can reply something the door opens and two doctors come in. A man and a women. ,,Ah good, you're awake.", the man says, while Levi looks quite confused and uncomfortable. ,,How do you feel?", the doctor asks and my boyfriend sits up straight. ,,Okay, I guess. Just a little headache, that's everything.", he answers and the women writes something down. ,,We're just gonna do a little check up now." Levi roles his eyes annoyed. ,,Is that really nesscesary?", he asks and the doctor sights. ,,It is. It's gonna be quick, we just have to check, if everythings fine.", he answers and Levi goes through his hair. ,,Ugh, fine." The doctors check out some things on Levi and so faar everything seems to be fine with him. After they're done they leave us alone again to give us some time. ,,You should probably go home. You look like you just murderd someone." ,,Hm?" I look down at me and realise I'm completely coverd in blood. I also remember all the blood in our livingroom I need to clean up. ,,But can't leave you alone here.", I reply and Levi sights. ,,I'm fine. You need to get some sleep. And you also might need to get my stuff." I nood slowly. ,,Fine. I'll call you later then. I love you." I pull him into a hug and he instantly leans in. ,,Thank you, Eren. For everything. I love you so much." We stay like that for a while until I pull back and look at him. ,,I'm going now. We talk later then." ,,Yeah, bye." I place a quick kiss on the raven's lips before leaving.