Inquisitive Heart [ Chaennie ]

Inquisitive Heart - Chapter 9

I PLAY WITH THE BRACELET ON MY WRIST. Twirl the charms on it, then slides it from my forearm not to mind the marks it left my skin because I felt bluer than these purplish lines, as I wait Jennie on one of the seats outside the hall.

"Hi." Jennie stands in front of me, giving out a loud shaky sigh.

"Why did you go in the middle of my speech?" She was trying hard to show me she's irritated, but her concerned eyes were failing her to do so. I was on a daze; I was only half listening to what she's asking though I was looking at her and her fidgety hands.

I'm still trying to recover from the new information I just heard from her.
She let herself be known as the 'girl with cancer', and how am I supposed to react about that?

My face and body are rigid as I look at her with so many emotions, I'm holding inside me.
I'm stopping myself to react just like how I reacted when this once happened to me before.

Someone left me, someone ruined me, and I hate how it affected my life. I've changed when this person came into my life, it was a great change but when she was gone... it shifted to another which is more devastating than the prior version of me. And I'm anxious because I felt that I'm facing another one like it.

I shook my head as I tried to focus only on this lady in front of me. Jennie.

Only to her, and not to overthink on the consequences after I lend my eyes on her.

I'm remembering the words she had before I went out.

Before she continues talking about cancer, she talked about her life without it.
His deceased father suffered the same cancer she has. Leukemia. And how it affected her life; decided to fly to France to start a new. However, the loneliness sunk her in a black hole. She did lots of things that tortured herself in the end, because France has also not have been that good to her, France is not how she expected it.

She ruined her life for embracing her loneliness, didn't care about her mom or anybody who were concern on her wellbeing. She didn't handle her mourning well, until she realized that she was already drowning in her deep sorrows. That deep that she needs strong hands to pull her out of the black water.

She never thought she was able to change. Until she met my family in Paris. She met them before she truly moved on and let go of the things which are holding her back, the thought of her deceased dad, the life in Korea. It also includes the thought of her ex-boyfriend in Lyon.

Yes, she had a boyfriend in France. Another reason I felt strangely bad. For realizing she is not someone I really thought she was.

Few years past, the wrongdoings, the unhealthy lifestyle... backfired to her faster than lightning when she was diagnosed with cancer. She had it after she met my family. To her, it was a God sent for it to happen on the time she needed them the most.

It was 3 years ago when she had it, nearly half on her years with my family.

It left her with many scars from the treatment. Adverse effects of chemo and radiation therapies on her skin and her hair. Resulted to maintain her hair curly instead of straight and to hide her scars within her clothes because the damage will be visible in the eye.

I grip on her wrist and slides her sleeve up to see it myself. There are white shiny spots on her flawless tanned skin. I still can't believe it's not just a story, it is real. She really has it.

I furrow my brows and sink on my seat.

"What's wrong?"

I bow my head, I felt like I'm drained... like my body and brain were both tired to function. I was trying to clench my eyes to stop my tears from falling that is now gradually betraying me.