Inquisitive Heart [ Chaennie ]

Inquisitive Heart - Chapter 13

Suzy.

I HAD BEEN LIVING A LIFE GLORIOUSLY, I'M ALONE... AND I USED TO NOT CARE.
I could go anywhere I want; I could flirt anybody if I would; that's the beauty and power I had.
And that was one of the reasons why my cousin Irene hated me. Because I've grown to be a woman who didn't care much for the fortune, who didn't care much about the family's business. I made it through alone, without anyone's help or money. The things she could never have.

That what's different about me. I didn't need to behave myself because the attention was not with me, it was on Irene... and her other socialite friends. The first born of heir in our clan; Jennie, H, Nayeon, Jisoo and my cousin, Irene.

Don't get me wrong, I still didn't want their fortune because I made it myself, and I myself had a wealth a half of theirs. I made it through the years making my own name, making my own wealth.

All of my goals were the same when I grew older. But what changed is I'm not happy to be alone anymore.

As the years go by fixing my own mess, running from men I played, a feeling of regret pinched inside me... because not saying that I will but if I might not have been capable of fixing everything, I will not have someone to lean on to. I envy my cousin because she has her friends behind her back. And most of the time, my cousin and her friends were there helping that weakling, Jennie Kim.

And more years came, I realized that my wealth and wildness in life is not forever. At that time, I knew, that I had no option but to accept my failure. I tried to discover other parts of myself. I realized I love art; I love how it made me express the feelings I had inside that no one can hear. Through art, they saw my longingness, they saw my failure, they saw gloominess inside my heart.

I tried to paint many things; I didn't care if the materials costed me too much that can brush off my own bank account. I kept painting to keep my sanity. And I placed it proudly on the art class's wall, though I know not many people will understand, they only looked on how weird and how dark it is.

Maybe it was better if they didn't know me and where I came from. If my family were not in the tabloids, adds or known in this society. If I was not a Bae and I chose art, no one would question me why, they would only think of it as a passion. But knowing I'm one of the young Baes, they thought of me as a rejected product of Baes and the family had nothing to with to me so they enrolled me to do this; they wouldn't see that I came here by choice.

A tall blonde woman with blankest eyes I ever saw stood beside me. I wanted to be scared about how she stares at my piece, but her face somehow told me that she knows the meaning of my art... she knows how I expressed things through this piece.

"You like it?" I asked with confidence, but she only gave me a tight smile.
"Make the corners darker. To lead the viewers, to focus on the silhouette of the girl in the center. Trust me, they will feel your pain." Then she went off without showing sympathy. She's very true to herself, she didn't show up here to act like she really cares, she just simply looks at my art and tells me that I can do better than this.

That's the first thing I loved about Roseanne.

I know it was too soon to like or love a stranger, but her presence made me believe on something I never believed before...

That there is someone like me. There's big difference about a person who says she likes the things that you do but says bad things about it behind your back and a person who just analyze your stuffs, saw its weaknesses, and tells you what to do. Like Roseanne, a stone-cold-hearted woman that just tells you what's wrong... what's missing and not tell you how good your art is... because to her, once you receive praise you will stop trying to be better.