Inquisitive Heart [ Chaennie ]

Inquisitive Heart - Chapter 16

WHAT HAPPENED RECENTLY IN THE CLUB, IN MY OFFICE, IN MY CAR; IN A MATTER OF SECONDS, THE CHANGE JUST POPPED OUT ON THE LEAST OF TIME I EXPECTED IT TO.

Everything starts to change between us. We started something that night that we are not ready to, or me at least. Maybe she was ready to tell me everything that night, without me knowing.

I found her beside me as I tried to open my eyes again; and it feels new, maybe due to her being here reminds me of her proposal to the change. This is not a 'friendship' anymore, this is a trial of something more, and see if it will work out or not.

What if she is not the woman for me?
What if I didn't love her back?
What if her ex-boyfriend comes back? What will be the effect to her?
And worse, what if I'll love her back but it'll be too late?

It'll be Robin and I, over again. Another promise and massive heart to be broken.
I might die for the second time.

My brain addled from lovestruck and past, and every reason was an indistinguishable smudge of ruin and heartbreak. I couldn't be sure anymore.

My thoughts are overflowing, it warms me in the cold night and the space I have with Jennie. I tried to convert it into dancing lights on my ceiling. Every glow of light invites me to make a choice, a fragile choice. I tried to close my eyes longer; and feel the cradle of the universe, the scent, and the breathing of the girl, sleeping beside me.

Maybe, 'because I know she loves me. And I'm scared that it will fade in time just like what happened before, with Robin.

My heart keeps clattering in my chest cause she-s currently beside me, and I don't know if it'll always be like this, or it'll be a part of my history in the future.

It's so unfair that she can sleep this peaceful while I can't; I'm her comfort but she is my stimulant.
Maybe what's keeping me up is the cold distance, the curiosity on her warmth on my body.

This is insane.

She said that she commonly has nightmares at night, so she doesn't sleep with anybody... except me. I never saw her with nightmares when she sleeps. I always observed a peaceful sleeping Jennie especially when she wants me cuddling her on my bed.

I moved on my side, leaned my head on my hand to look at her in a closer view. Her face is so soft and calm. Her chest rises deep and slow. She's cradling my favorite pillow on her half-exposed tummy. And her closer hand is softly gripping on my pyjama... forbidding me to escape. I can't believe I'm missing those brown eyes and teasy grin; can't she just wake up?

She has my brain and my heart in a death grip. And I'm still trying to push all the butterflies away.

I was deep in thoughts that I was surprised when she opened her eyes and squeezed it with her hand. "Hmm, why (are) you still awake?" Theres my favorite brown eyes.

"I can't sleep." And there's my favorite grin.
Thanking the dark for not exposing my blushed cheeks, for wanting to look and focus at her this much.
She lets out a long breath and release my pyjama and my pillow from her hold.
"Come here, maybe you can sleep on me." She said and pulled me to her arms, settled my head gently on the top of her chest; fixed my hair out of my face and pecked a kiss on my forehead. Her arms engulfed me warmly before she settles below me.

"Goodnight love." I heard her whisper, and the palpitations were abruptly gone. I quickly went to dreamland with her chest and beating heart close to mine.

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