Surfer Girl 2 // A.I (completed)

thirty-eight

< Thursday >

{ Tatum }

I'm worried about Ashton. It's been a couple of weeks since the tour started and he is absolutely miserable. I know he keeps saying he's done with the band thing, but I didn't know he was this done. He doesn't go to the sound checks and he won't leave mine or the kids' sides.

Ashton was still soundly sleeping. His head was tucked up under my chin and his arms were wrapped around my torso. Thankfully, Luke and Sierra said they'd take care of the kids for a while since I couldn't move because of Ashton's hold when they woke up.

My hand raked through Ashton's unruly hair, lightly scratching at his scalp. I heard him hum, then attempt to get closer to me,

"You up?" I asked with a small laugh. He nodded against my chest but never opened his eyes,

"You okay?" I questioned. He huffed but nodded once more before he finally opened his eyes and tilted his head back so I was able to see him,

"Good morning" he spoke, his voice super raspy from just waking up. I smiled and kissed his lips,

"The kids are awake and hanging out with Luke and Sierra" I whispered,

"I just wanna lay here for a minute" Ashton sighed. I nodded,

"You know you can talk to me" I sighed,

"I know but there's nothing really to talk about. I just want to be done with all this"

I nodded. I understood,

"Well if you want to or need to talk, you know I'm here for you"

"I know. Thank you baby" Ashton smiled, "Let's get up now. I wanna see my little humans"

I laughed but nodded and we hopped out of the bunk and out to the front of the bus where Luke and Sierra were with the kids,

"Good morning my humans" Ashton beamed finding Avery and Krew chowing down on cereal,

"Morning" Krew excitedly spoke as Avery just kept eating,

"Have you guys been good for Luke and Si?" Ashton slid in the seat next to them, kissing both their heads,

"Yeah" Avery answered and looked at Luke and Sierra for confirmation,

"They've been good" Sierra laughed. I chuckled and grabbed myself coffee then gave Ashton a cup.

"Yo Ash, we gotta head into the venue" Luke looked up from his phone. Ashton groaned but nodded. He and Luke grabbed their bags and headed out of the bus with their coffees in hand.

****

Once the kids finished up breakfast, I got them dressed for the day and grabbed their toy backpacks and Sierra and I headed inside with them just as Crystal, Noah, and Brandy were.

When we go to the dressing room, the first thing the kids did was dump all their toys out and plopped on the floor to play with each other. The girls and I all made ourselves comfortable on the couches, talking and watching the kids,

"You know, I don't think the boys should have done this tour" Crystal sighed out, "All of them are miserable"

I nodded. I was somewhat glad that it wasn't only Ashton feeling this way,

"I know. Last night Luke was in tears about how much he just wants to go home" Sierra spoke,

"Ashton hasn't really said a whole lot, but I can tell just by his actions he's not having fun" I finally added,

"Well, this is all causing a divide with Michael and I. He's just so distant because that's how he handles things. I hate seeing him so upset and so just not happy" Crystal shook her head,

"Ashton hasn't been distant from me or the kids. He's been super clingy. Part of that is this tour thing but the other is some other stuff I know he's dealing with" I shrugged. I know the tour is hard for him, but his dad also won't leave him alone.

"Calum is beating himself up for even suggesting a tour. He knows they all aren't happy and I think he feels horrible" Brandy finally spoke,

"They've grown up and they've realized they have more important things in life than the music. I think before they didn't have anything but music that's why they were so connected to it all. Now, I mean, they all have families. We all have families. That's what's important now. Not the music" Sierra said, her hand gently resting on her baby bump.

The eat of us agreed just as the guys walked in. All four had the same look of just misery,

"Daddy!" Krew jumped up with his car in his hand, "Can you pway wif me?

"Not now bud" Ashton sighed and walked into the bathroom. My eyes furrowed because usually, he drops everything and plays with the kids. I liked to Sierra who gave me a go, telling me she'd keep an eye on Krew and Avery.

I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, finding Ashton leaned over with his hands on the counter. His head was down and he was breathing heavy,

"Ash" I spoke soft, in attempt to not scare him. His head lifted and he looked back at me. His eyes were puffy and red and sympathy took over my face,

"Babe" I sighed and stepped towards him. He didn't even hesitate before his arms were around me and his head was buried into my shoulder and he was crying. I softly rubbed his back and let him cry. He doesn't do that often but he needs to just let it out.

Once he calmed down, we pulled back and I looked to his face,

"I can't do it anymore. My whole body hurts. I can't remember anything I'm doing on the drums. I don't even want to play with the kids because I'm so tired" Ashton spoke, "I've become a shitty dad, a shitty husband, and a shitty person all around"

"Who is telling you this?" I questioned fast, knowing that he didn't think of that,

"Everyone Tatum!" he yelled, taking me off guard. As my eyes widened, Ashton's whole face changed,

"Fuck" he pulled at his hair before he hugged me, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you"

"Who is telling you this baby?" I asked again, knowing that with me hugging him, he's calmer,

"The media, our manager, my dad"

I sighed and kissed his clothes chest,

"They're wrong. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, you are not a shitty husband, you are not a shitty dad. You are the absolute best. I know it and the kids know it" I told him, "And I know, you're in physical pain from the tour. Take your ice baths. You know those help you both physically and mentally. Use the foam roller on the muscles. Let Avery and Krew walk on your back to crack it. I know you're miserable but you've got to take care of yourself"

Ashton nodded,

"I don't know what I'd do without you" he whispered, "Will you help me?"

"Of course I will. I always you"