His Singularity

Chapter 34

"I guess this is goodbye." I smile sadly at them. I may not be on the best terms with Alaric, but I did bond with the others. They accepted me as a human; and then as a loudmouth, way too opinionated, impulsive human.

I will miss Arya's curiosity and respectfulness. The way she defends her pack at every turn and her giddy excitement when she is happy.

I will definitely miss Aedion's wickedness. That boy loves stirring up trouble. But he was always there for me when I needed it and he is deceptively wise.

Then there is Ace. The sweetheart and everyone's favourite big brother. Always looking out for everyone and keeping the peace.

I'm going to miss them.

"Goodbye? This is more like a welcome." Arya smiles at me.

Huh?

"Welcome to the A-haven." Aedion smirks. I'm confused.

Are they a part of the A-haven?
Wait! A-haven. As in A-pack.
They are the A-haven.

"Oh, fuck no!" I am trying to get away from Alaric, not join his fucking pack.

"How are you guys even a bloody haven?" I really should have asked for more information before choosing.

"It was the only way a faery could join a lycan pack." Aedion explains with a shrug.

Huh?

Right! I really should have put that together sooner.
That also explains why Ace knew so much about them.

I can really be a little dumb sometimes.

"They are still processing your paperwork. Most likely  the ritual will be in a few days, we just came to say welcome to the A-pack." Arya beams at me. She looks so excited to have me join them, I kind of feel bad for my initial reaction.

"You were probably drowning in testosterone." I joke making her laugh.

"Alright. We need to let these two talk." Ace says and my gaze locks onto Alaric.
It is not fair. I just can't escape him, can I?

It doesn't help that he looks like he does. Fucking unnaturally gorgeous stupid lycan. He needs to stop.

I hear the door close and realise that we are alone. I must have missed them leave.

Why am I nervous? I should be furious. In fact I am furious. Why would he make me join his pack after I told him I was done? Does he not get what done means? Has no one ever rejected him before? Doubt it. Not with that face and body. Fucking asshole.

And yes, I know he didn't make me do anything, I'm just frustrated. This whole situation is just aggravating.

Why do I feel like he only started caring about me when I told him to leave?

"You hurt my feelings."
What? I was not expecting that.
Alaric has feelings?

"Please let me get through what I have to say." He interrupts as I am about to go off on him.
Fine. But only because he said please. And because there is nothing he can say to change my mind.

"Arya filled in some blanks for me about paramours. How you should have instantly become my whole world. And how the dinner party was disrespectful. I am sorry about that. I was asked to be polite despite how uncomfortable I was. Apparently that situation was different."
I am still so confused. Who would ask someone to be polite even when they know they are uncomfortable?
So does this mean he was uncomfortable with her hand on him?

"I also want to point out how unfair it is of you to expect to be my first priority. Not when I know for a fact that I am not yours. We are not like other paramour couples, we do not feel the bond. Without it, it is completely unreasonable to expect me to prioritise you, a girl I just met and knew next to nothing about over my life goals and family. The same way I do not expect you to prioritise me over your brother. Our relationship is moving slower than other paramour couples. For where we are in our relationship, it is completely uncalled for, for you to demand to be my first priority. Not when you do not even know why I have the priorities I do." Damn. I hate that he is right.

"You hurt my feelings. Everyone always assumes the worst of me, but I thought that you were different. I silenced you because you do not think before talking and they would have used that against you. They would have found a way to push you into saying something that would justify them killing you before your trial. And I needed to buy time for your trial. I wasn't leaving you to rot in your cell, we were working on building a case for you and tracking down as many witnesses as we could. I was trying to help you, but you made your own assumptions about me and decided to cut me out of your life. You of all people should know how much that hurts."

His words hurt more than a broken arm. Damn him, he is right. I did make assumptions. But this situation is different.

"Assumptions are all I had to go on. I tried to get to know you but all you did was push me away. Even now, you didn't tell me anything. What was I supposed to think?" He doesn't get to put all the blame on me here.

"I am tired of forcing a relationship." I sigh exhausted. He always makes me feel like I am the only one trying.

"Maybe you wouldn't have had to if you hadn't severed our bond." And just like that, a bucket of ice water is thrown on me.

"Do not lecture me on effort put into this when you made a single-handed decision to cut off our bond. You made it necessary for us to work harder than everyone else." For the second time since we met, Alaric is angry at me. I have never seen such disappointment and anger in his eyes.

Shit.

He leaves the room and I am left alone with my thoughts.

He is right. I cut the thread of fate joining us. If I hadn't, things would have been so much easier.

Was he really out looking for witnesses for me? Is that why he didn't visit? Does he even know about the dungeons they had put me in before this room?
While I was here hating him, he was trying to save me.

He didn't abandon me. He actually cared.
He actually cared about me, but I pushed him away.

Fuck, why am I like this. Why am I such a bitch all the time? Why do I sabotage my own happiness.

Am I truly so desperate for love that I would demand it from a virtual stranger? Someone who obviously has struggles and battles of his own. Someone even more in need of it than I am.

He is right; I have not been fair to him.
It was not right of me to take out my frustrations with life out on him. No, I need to face life on herself.

Instead of being angry with Alaric, or the stupid court of Kings, or Nalah, I need to put life in her place.

Cause sometimes you need a bitch to deal with an even bigger bitch.

I am taking charge of my life.

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Thoughts?