Different kind of comfort

Chapter 15 - Fiery Red

Kate Beckett's POV

After we had eaten the cookies we sat down looking out at the lake, enjoying the view as the time went. I had taken my coat off because the sun made it too hot to wear it and as I sat in Castle's arms his fingers ran up and down my arms, making my skin tingle at his gentle touch.

"You know, I've never been this far in a relationship before" I suddenly said and I had no idea why.

I felt him look at me with a questioning look.

"You mean you've never been in a relationship for as long as a month?" he asked and I chuckled.

"No, I meant I've never been this far in a relationship. I mean, I've never really felt this way about anyone, ever" I confessed and when I glanced at him I saw that beautiful smile I loved plastered on his lips.

"Good, because that is exactly what I'm going through" he said with a sweet voice and I couldn't help but turn a little in his arms to make it possible for me to kiss his lips gently.

As we pulled away again I turned back and his fingers started running up and down my arms again. We sat silent for a while, just enyojing each other's company. Suddenly I started thinking about my mom, thinking about the things she always told me to look for when I got together with guys, especially the ones she didn't approve. She always told me to look for that one guy that made me feel like myself, the one who would let me into his life like he had with no one else, the one who made me feel like home. And to my surprise I realized that all those things she told me to look after was right here, holding me in his arms. If only she was here to see it, I thought as I sighed deeply.

"What's wrong?" Castle asked and I stiffened a bit.

I didn't really know why but I always got deffensive when someone caught me thinking about my mom. Even when my friends, who had been there with me when I found out, asked I got all tensed and deffensive, trying to shake off their questions and pitying.

"You know you can talk about anything with me" Castle said and carefully added, "if you want to of course."

I suddenly remembered I hadn't told him about my mom and what had happened to her. I had pushed it away, trying to escape it but I knew I couldn't run from telling him forever. Sooner or later he would find out, and maybe it was better to be the one deciding when instead of getting surprised by someone esle telling him before me. Or maybe he could find some of the information about it on the internet if he knew what to search for.

"Yeah I know" I said and I turned my head to lay it in the crock of his neck. "Have I told you anything at all about my parents?" I asked and tried to swallow the lump that started growing in my throat.

"No, not more than that they aren't close enough to meet me just yet, why?" he asked and I bit my lip.

"Well..." I took a deep breath. "I kind of... lied. My parents are nowhere near at all" I breathed out.

I felt Castle shift a little as he tried to look at me. I pulled away a little to make it possible for him to see me without having to sit in an uncomfortable position.

"You mean they're both in the world of spirits?" he asked and I gave him a sad smile.

"Yeah, you could say that" I choked out.

He put his arms around me and hugged me tight, making sure I knew he was there for me. For a moment we were completely silent, I didn't know what to say and I was afraid my voice wouldn't be strong enough just yet.

"What happened?" he asked carefully and I felt his lips kissing my head in comfort.

I licked my lips and fought the tears I felt threatening in my eyes.