Different kind of comfort

Chapter 28 - Sleeptalk

Kate Beckett's POV

I woke up the next morning with his arms wrapped around me. I bit my thumb a bit while a smile spread on my lips. His breath in my neck was calming and I could feel he was still asleep. I thought about turning around so I could see his adorable face but I knew that if I moved he would feel it and probably wake up. I felt so happy knowing I once again got to wake up in his loft, his bed, and most importantly, in his arms. My whole body was tingling from the night and I could feel my lips were swollen from his hot kisses. I felt his arms hug me tighter and he murmured something in his sleep. At first I couldn't make out a thing he was saying but it got clearer for each word he said.

"...always love you Kate, that's not something you have to doubt" he murmured into my ear and in his sleep he kissed my hair. 

"I love you too Rick, and I would never doubt you" I whispered and I felt his lips turn up in a smile.

"Kate?" he said in a questioning matter, still sleeping, and I hummed, "I want you to be my wife someday" he mumbled and I felt my body stiffen in shock, "I want to have a baby with you, I want us to be a real family, you, me, Alexis and a baby of ours" he continued to mumble and I felt his hands sneak under my shirt just to rub circles on my belly. 

I started to turn in his arms to be able to look at him. His left hand followed to be able to stay on it's place on my belly. His eyes were closed and I could see in his face that he really was still sleeping, and not fooling around with me. Was he serious? Was that coming from thoughts he'd had in the awakened state as well? Or was it just something random his mind was making him say.

"You" I hesitated but decided that awake or not, I needed to know, "you really want a baby with me? Now?"

I saw a wrinkle in his forehead and I started to worry he had waken up before I managed to ask the question, which would lead to him asking why I was asking such a question. 

"Yes, but... only if you want to" he mumbled and I could see him blush.

I looked closer and saw that he was, to my relief, still sleeping. I didn't know whether to be happy or just afraid. Because even if I didn't want to I was afraid of thinking about it. I loved kids, but I didn't know if we were ready for it. I didn't know if I was ready for it. He felt right, he really did. And if I believed in those kind of things I would believe what Lanie told me early in our relationship and what Martha told me all the time, that we were soulmates. But i didn't know if I would be ready for a baby of my own yet. I worked with kids every day, and I loved playing with Alexis but having one of my own was a whole other level. Plus it was a big step to take in our relationship. 

"Heey, how long have you been up? And what's that face for?" Castle suddenly asked and I focused on him, looking him in his blue eyes.

I couldn't help but drown as I looked deeply into them.

"Well?" he asked after a few silent minutes of staring.

"Oh, nothing, it's nothing" I lied and I could see in eyes that he didn't believe me.

"Kate, what's wrong?" he asked and I bit my lip while shaking my head.

I didn't want to admit to him that he had been sleeptalking, neither did I want to admit that I actually talked with him while he wasn't really conscious.

"Just nervous, about tonight" I lied and I saw him searching in my eyes, trying to determine if I was telling the truth or lying to him again. 

He sighed deep before his hand went from my belly up to cup my cheek. 

"I know you Kate, you might be nervous about that but it's not what's making you have that scary face you have at the moment" he said and I looked down.