Questioning//BILLIE EILISH

15

"I'm here for you and I'm so grateful for you."

My drowsy body nuzzles further into her, appreciating her cushiony chest, "Thank you, Billie," I say in a small voice, "really."

We continue to watch Frozen until I hear someone outside turning a key. I sit up quickly, afraid of what my parents could see when they enter the living room.

"Who is it?" Billie asks in a whiny tone, trying to pull me back into her.

"My parents," I whisper.

Billie stops pulling on me and sits up herself, clearly nervous.

The front door opens and my parents call into the house, "We're home! And we brought pizza."

"Billie," I whisper, "don't worry, they're nice!"

She looks at me, her expression just as worrisome as before.

"Hello Dez," my mom greets as she fully enters the living room, "Oh! And hello.. I'm assuming this is Billie."

"Yes, Mom. This is Billie."

"Hi," Billie says softly, almost inaudible.

"Hi, Honey."

My mom walks towards the kitchen, "Eat up now! While it's still hot."

I stand up from the couch to see Billie still sat with her head down and her hands in her lap. It's adorable, but I'm concerned, "I'll just grab some pizza and bring it out here, yeah?"

I hear Billie whisper, but I can't understand.

"What was that?"

"im vegan," she says again, this time loud enough for me to hear.

My heart drops as she stares down at her lap, defeated. I sit down beside her, feeling the urge to call her sweet names in hopes she feels a bit better, "Billie, baby, there's no worries. My mom always has a salad ready in the fridge. You can eat one of those! Yeah?" I tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear, revealing her beautiful face.

Billie finally looks up, making me worried I overstepped or acted too gay at her.

"Yeah," she concedes.

I take a deep breath, "Okay, I'll bring it out for you."

"Thanks."

I walk into the kitchen and plate myself a piece of pizza before walking over to the fridge, "Hey Mom?" I ask, "Is it alright if Billie has one of your salads? She's vegan."

"That's just fine," she replies, "I'm just going to get some work done in my office for a bit."

"Sounds good!"

I bring the food out to Billie, still fearful on the couch. I decide she may be more comfortable in my room where we can shut the door, so I invite her up.

"Let's go back in my room, yeah? We can finish the movie up there."

Billie nods and takes her salad in one hand, and my hand in the other. Her fingers grip mine tightly, portraying her anxiety in yet another way. I rub my thumb across the back of her hand and lead us upstairs.