Questioning//BILLIE EILISH

34

I can't talk to Billie right now, so I make a mental note to do that later. I can talk to Mia, though.

I send a text, "Hey, Mia. I know we had an argument last week, but I love you a lot. I want to see you sometime soon and catch up :)"

She immediately replies, "I won't hang out with you as long as you're still friends with that Billie bitch."

My heart stings and I call her, wanting to have an easier conversation.

Mia picks up after 2 rings, "What?" She says in a rude tone.

I take a deep breath and try to de-escalate the conversation, "Hey, Mia. I just want to talk."

"Talk then."

I grit my teeth and continue, "I'm not going to stop being friends with Billie, but that doesn't mean I can't be friends with you. There's no reason for her to come between us."

"Yes there is."

"And what is that?"

"Because," Mia starts, seeming to calm down a notch, "As soon as you became friends with her, you pulled away from me. I felt- feel inferior."

My heart sinks as I realize that Mia may not be the only one in the wrong, "I'm sorry, Mia. I didn't mean to make you feel inferior. There are reasons why I became close with Billie so quickly, but that's no excuse for me to push you away."

"Thank you," she says, saying nothing more.

I hum and continue, "You're not the only one that felt inferior."

"You did?"

"Mhm," I hum, "I felt inferior to Wyatt.. and, well, you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, I mean, you have this way with guys that I just don't have. You have this desire to talk to them and flirt with them," my chest tightens at how close I came to coming out to her.

"You have a desire to talk to them too, you just need practice," I can hear her mood pick up slightly.

I frown, trying to get the words out of my mouth. I make a small noise, trying to start my sentence, but stop myself, "-yeah, you're right."

I take a deep breath, trying to relieve the heavy weight resting on my chest, but have a hard time breathing well.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" I say, wanting to end the conversation.

"Will Billie be there?" Mia asks in a cross tone.

My eyes widen and I snap, done holding in my outburst, "Why the fuck would you ask that?"

Mia gasps, "What do you mean?"

"Of course she won't be there. Why do you have to bag on Billie so much? We were fine; we said what we wanted to say, and now you make yet another rude comment. What is wrong with you!?"

The line goes dead.

I throw my phone on my bed and sit on the ground, resting my head in my hands. I'm done trying to fix this. If she wants to be friends again, she has reach out.